Friday, July 26, 2019

It's raining dinosaurs. Hallelujah.

I didn't write last week cause I had the day off to go to Vernal. Usually that isn't a positive thing. It's like saying I had the day off to dig a hole to nowhere, but Vernal is actually a really cool place. I wanted to go there because I've never been there and I want to start exploring more. I have my places that I like to go every year because they're awesome. And let's be honest, whenever I have enough money my first thought is to go to Disneyland.
For this trip I really wanted to go check out the Dinosaur National Monument. When I first booked it I went to the website, and it said they had 12 days of activities to do. My first thought was that is bull. Holy crap, though. When we got down there I realized just how much there is to do. Vernal is an extremely pretty valley, with a ton of little canyons. In one canyon there are Native American Petroglyphs. In another canyon there are two really pretty lakes. We went to Red Fleet Reservoir. It's an amazing lake at the top of a mountain surrounded by really cool rocks. The water temperature is 70 degrees. We spent a few hours there, and eventually rented a kick boat. That was a tremendous mistake. They're incredibly hard to get moving, and they're really hard to control Not to mention there were two weirdos that kept saying we weren't moving nearly fast enough. We rented it for an hour, made it 15 minutes. Par for the course.
We went to the Dinosaur National Monument which is about 15 miles outside of town. If you haven't been there in a while, or have never been there, I highly recommend it. You go into the visitor center, and then take a shuttle up to the wall of bones. It's literally a wall of dinosaur bones. Back in the early 1900's the man who discovered the find had taken so many bones out of there, and there were still a ton more. He petitioned the government to keep the rest of the wall as it is and make it a national monument for education purposes. There is a section of wall that gives you the ability to actually touch a dinosaur bone. The girls thought it was the coolest thing! They absolutely loved it. The whole trip was one big adventure. We did a lot of swimming, and ate mostly at good places. The King Tut and Dinosaur Cafe was not good. With a name like that I should have known better. Country Grub was fantastic, and Mirinda invited Betty from Betty's Cafe to come and live with us.
The only weird thing about Vernal is every place you go to eat they have Pepsi on tap. I mean every place. I couldn't figure out why it was every place. Finally when we're on our way out of town there was a Pepsi bottling plant. It all made sense. I think I kind of like Pepsi again. I've sworn it off for so many years, but Crystal Pepsi came back and it made me so happy it softened my heart towards Pepsi.
I hope everyone had a fantastic Pioneer Day. I certainly did. Took Mirinda and Priya up to Lagoon, and we spent most of the day there Those two are so adorable. I had them take an old timey photograph dressed as cowgirls. They were so excited. We ate an incredible amount of sugar. Like incredible amounts of sugar. That's what the pioneers would have wanted.
The podcast is up and running! Right now we're just on Spotify, but we're going to be on Itunes and google podcasts, as well as I Heart Radio and Stitcher. There are 3 episodes currently, with one more in the process of being edited. Right now you can go to Spotify and search for Snooty and Slackjaw Restaurant Review. You can also go to our Facebook page. If you like what you hear please leave a comment and share it with your friends. If there is a place you'd really like us to review, please let us know! Thanks for reading!

Friday, July 12, 2019

It's a Festivus Miracle

McDonald's fries are some of the best fries in the world, except when they're not salted. And these are not salted. Get with it McDonald's on 4500 south just off of I-15 with the girl at the register wearing a hoodie in 95 degree heat. Get with it.
Priya walked this week! It's the first time in 9 weeks she's walked on her own. It was amazing. Absolutely amazing moment. She was so pleased with herself, and she has every right to be. Now she walks everywhere, and doesn't like to be held. I love it so much. This morning she was jumping on her little trampoline. It's got a hand bar so that helps. She did it a little too much and it started to hurt her. It's hard because I don't want her to injure herself, but I also don't want her to be afraid. She's already talking about wanting to run because we kept telling her she's going to be able to run. She'll get there. You've got to learn to crawl before you learn to walk as Steven Tyler says. There's your obscure Aerosmith reference for the week.
I didn't write last week cause I had the day off and just wanted to spend it with the family. We had a fantastic time glamping at Bear Lake. No one slept. We're still in the process of getting the girls to sleep in their own bed. Inside the tent at Conestoga Ranch they have a king size bed, and two single beds. I thought this would be a perfect time to get them to sleep in their own beds. Holy crap was I wrong. I finally ended up getting in one of the single beds and falling asleep. Everything else was great though. I still thoroughly recommend that place.
We had a good 4th of July. Priya didn't really remember last years 4th of July, so it was cool to see her reactions to fireworks. We had a few BBQ's and I smoked a whole bunch of meat. That's a successful weekend. I hate sparklers though. I really, really do. Let's hold a stick that's burning at 3000 degrees at the other end. If you tried to get that approved today you'd be strung up. Think about it. If sparklers hadn't been invented and you had this great idea to have a metal stick that lights up on one end and burns at 3000 degrees and only stops when it gets near your hand people would be comparing you to Hitler. We had left over sparklers and I purposely left them on the lawn so the sprinklers would get them and I could throw them away. Pops are cool though, cause I feel like a ninja who needs to vanish. Smoke bombs are dumb, unless you're a fairly flamboyant ninja who needs to vanish in a puff of purple smoke. If that's your thing, go for it Leonardo.
My kids have the blood lust. Like every day I imagine them preparing for battle like Rambo did in First Blood. I want to get them red headbands. Their blood lust is against ants, and it cannot be sated. At the beginning of the summer we had a colony of red ants move into the patio and were getting in the sandbox. Red ants bite, so I needed to kill them. I bought some spray and they're all dead now. I have a rule with bugs that if they come into the house, they are dead. If they are outside, I'm like it's cool man. You do your thing and I'll do mine. Not my girls. First of all they thing anything on the ground that's black is a bug. I found them freaking out about a large piece of lint the other day. They were convinced it was moving, and by the way they were acting I think they were convinced it was going to kill and eat the entire family. If they see an ant Mirinda will jump up screaming, and Priya will use her new found walking ability to stomp the life out of that ant. Like with extreme prejudice. She treats it as if the ant has done her some personal injury and she's doing this as a lesson to the other ants. And when she's done stomping the life out of the ant, she wants to cuddle. Those girls are sweet and terrifying.
I got a bonus, so what do I do with a portion of it? I buy my girls another power wheels car. They had two, but one of them is on it's last legs. We've had it since we got Mirinda. The girls are getting older, and they like the Wonder Woman Jeep, so now they have a Barbie Dune Cruiser. It goes off road and it's pretty sweet. Barbie was not my first choice. They had a Batmobile one and it was freaking awesome, but one day it was one price, and the next day it went up $50, so the Barbie one was what they got. It has two speeds. 2.5 MPH and 5 MPH. We don't even bother with the 2.5 MPH. The girls love it. I have no regrets. I also learned that the Wonder Woman Jeep has two speeds, but it has a lock on the higher speed. Now they both go super fast. As long as they're blood lust doesn't move up to cats and dogs, we should be OK.
Thanks for reading! We've got 3 episodes of Snooty and Slackjaw recorded. Unfortunately, they were almost done uploading on the dial up connection, and someone picked up the phone, so we had to start all over again. Patience gentle reader, you'll get Snooty and Slackjaw soon enough.