Don't poop in the pool

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving. I spent a ton of time with my daughters so I was happy about that. I got off early on Wednesday and they wanted to go swimming. I took the to the South Jordan Rec center. There was no one there, and the water was 85 degrees. I was just thinking how awesome it was when the lifeguards started blowing the whistle and hustling everyone out of the pool. You guessed it, diarrhea in the pool. So we watch them trying to fish it out for about 15 minutes with the skimmer thing, and finally they came to everyone to explain what happened and said they have to get the vacuum out to get it all and it would be about an hour. Even if I stayed for an hour I'm not going back in that soup. I read a study that it actually takes the chlorine in the pool about 6 hours to kill the bacteria from something like that. The girls were understandably upset, but I took them to the mall and nickel cade. They got over it.
But seriously. If you know your kid is having those issues, keep them home. In this case it could have been that they didn't know the kid wasn't feeling well. I really hope that was the case and that it wasn't the entitlement feeling that is so freaking prevalent in our culture. It was annoying. On Friday I took the girls to the Herriman Rec Center. Water was warm and no one was there. Added bonus: no poop.
The girls enjoyed Thanksgiving. They ate a moderate amount which was impressive. Priya eats very little but likes to have things throughout the day. Mirinda has times that she likes to eat a lot and times she doesn't.
On Saturday we bought our Christmas tree. We got a live tree this year and I love that smell. I've started the quest to have them watch Christmas movies. We watched Home Alone and Home Alone 2 this last week. They loved it, but were very concerned about the bad guys. They were concerned that they were hurt and also concerned that at the end they turn into good guys. I told them there are bad people in the world, and the cartoons they're watching don't always give an accurate representation of that. Especially Sofia the First. They spent the first 3 seasons setting up villains, and now they're going back through those villains to show how they weren't really bad just misunderstood. Misunderstandings happen, but sometimes people are just bad for the sake of being bad.
That's something I really need to drive into Priya right now. She'll cuddle with anyone, even people she just met. It's sweet but she also has to learn some caution. We were at a high school musical last week. There was someone from the band that said hi to her. Priya grabbed her hand and took off. She was halfway up the auditorium and headed towards the doors before I caught up to her. That poor high school girl must have been terrified as she saw me coming after them. The first thing I told her is I wasn't mad at her but I needed to teach my daughter not to do things like that. I apologized to the high school girl after the show as well.
So that's what we're working on. Being kind and loving, but also being cautious.
The girls did sit on Santa's lap, which is a huge accomplishment for Mirinda. Last Christmas she was up until 2 AM because she was scared of Santa coming into her room. That's changed a lot. Maybe I'll get some sleep this year.
As always thanks for reading. Today I had to go to Cafe Rio and Dunford Donuts for work. If I go to Olive Garden as well my hellish trifecta of food will be complete. We'll see what the day brings.
Speaking of food we've got a new episode of Snooty and Slackjaw this week, so please listen! 

The Dark Face of Evil

The Christmas lights are up and I couldn't be more excited. The girls ask most days when Christmas is. Mirinda has been terrified of Santa Clause over the last few years. This year she says she will sit on Santa's lap. I hope she will. This is the first year the two of them are really understanding what Christmas is all about, and they are very particular about what they want. A microphone and a smart watch. I'm not sure why that combination.
I'm smoking a turkey for the first time on Sunday. I've been doing research to determine the type of brine I'm going to do and the wood chips I'm going to use and I've discovered something. A lot of the people on the internet telling you how to cook things are idiots and you shouldn't listen to them. One recipe called for smoking the turkey for 11 hours. Listen, turkey is not like beef. Turkey will become a barren wasteland of flavor if you were to cook it for that long. A lot of people called a brine a marinade as well. They are not the same thing, and they work very differently with meat. I've determined the brine and I'm going to butterfly the turkey. It will probably be delicious. And 4 hours should just about do it.
But that's really the whole thing about Thanksgiving. It was designed as a holiday to help us not lose our national identity as cooks. It's about sharpening our skills to put a wonderful meal together to be grateful for the talents we have. We should expect more out of our food.
That being said, there is a powerful force of evil out there and I've seen it. I never want to go there again. I went to the Dunford Baker factory. It was a lovely sunny day when I went, but when I drove in suddenly things got dark and my heart went cold. I had to buy 10 dozen cookies for a client event at last notice. It was towards the end of the day and they didn't have a whole lot left, which was extremely depressing. I thought people actually came and bought this crap. As I put together the 10 dozen cookies the employee working there was eyeballing me like I was doing something wrong. Finally she told me that I could order large quantities if I submitted the order 48 hours in advance. It took all my willpower to stop myself from telling her that I never plan to set foot in this place again and I was hoping to leave with my life and my soul intact. I bought the cookies and left.
Listen, I get that a lot of people love Dunford. Seriously you should expect more out of your bakery. I recognize there's not a lot of bakeries on that end of the valley, but don't settle for mediocrity in your baked goods. Demand more. There are a tremendous amount of really good bakeries out there that don't make you feel like you need to take a shower when you get home. That's all I'm saying. I realize it's cheap, but cheap isn't always good. That's my rant for the day.
I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving. If you are going to buy a meal already cooked, at least make one dish by yourself. Try something you've never made before. You'll be surprised. Or you'll hate it. Either way you'll have a good story.

So Much Shame

Sorry I missed two weeks. I was doing stuff. Celebrated my 40th birthday. Not as hard as I thought it was going to be. We had a great time. The night before my mom rented out the VIP theater at Jordan Commons and holy crap it was awesome. They have 46 seats inside, and you can watch any movie you want. I picked Napoleon Dynamite and people had a blast. They had popcorn, candy and drinks. It was a very fun party. I'd highly recommend it. On my birthday we went to Lagoon for the last time this year. It's always sad when Lagoon closes. I have to figure out what to do with my leisure time now. It will open again in March. The countdown has started.

The girls enjoyed Halloween. Priya was very pleased with herself as Elsa, and that poor wig looked worse and worse throughout the day. She didn't make it very long trick or treating. The dress was too long for her and she had a hard time keeping up with the kids, so I carried her from house to house. It made me a little sad honestly. She tries so hard and doesn't give up. After about a half hour she was done and went home, but Mirinda stayed out with her friends and ran from house to house.

Last week we went to Moab for the Scottish festival there. It's called Scots on the Rocks, and it was actually a pretty good festival. We explored Arches and did things in town. All those girls wanted to do was swim. Every 10 minutes they asked when we were going swimming. I spent $30 on freaking rocks at the rock shop, and they asked when we're going swimming. I told them we weren't going on trips anymore. We'll just stay home and go swimming. There is one indoor pool in Moab, and it's not even really indoor. It's indoor/outdoor so the water was freezing. Luckily the hot tub wasn't too hot. It was a fun trip and the girls enjoyed it.

I'm ashamed to admit this. Last night I bought the girls Ana and Elsa dolls. They were at Costco. The dolls came in one package. I felt sick to my stomach as I did it, but I did it. They are so happy with them. I'm also putting up my Christmas lights this week. These were two things that I would never do, but those kids are just too freaking cute. I came home and did some bare knuckle push-ups so I could feel like a man again. Well I did an up, and felt like that was enough. I've got a forest of chest hair that reminds me I'm a man anyway.

The podcast hasn't ended, we're just taking a break while Jim Bob travels the world. We'll get back to it. We appreciate all of you who listen.

As always, thanks for reading. Find things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, there's a lot of them out there. I for one am going to be thankful for the smoked turkey I'm going to be doing. That turkey will not have given his life in vain. He will be delicious.

Let's Move the Homicidal Reindeer

I didn't write last week because I was too freaking busy, but I thought about writing, so that may or may not be enough. Probably not.
We had a really great time in Logan. Went to Zootah, the zoo in Logan. I still love that zoo. They have a yak. They also have a really pissed off reindeer. He's right next to the petting zoo, which is probably a safety concern. If you got to close to the fence he'd try to stab you with his antlers. Maybe move the homicidal reindeer to another area. Just a thought.
They have some sandhill cranes that followed Mirinda as she walked, which she thought was hilarious.
I had the worst Indian meal I've ever had in Logan as well. One of my rules for traveling is to check Trip Advisor. Search for restaurants in the area you're going to be in, and pick one of the top 5, and 99% of the time you'll discover some new amazing place. Because it was 4 years from the day we met Mirinda I thought lets go to an Indian place. There are two Indian places in Logan. One I've been too and it was OK, but the other one was more highly rated. When we drove up I realized the restaurant was connected to a convenience store. Should have been a red flag but it wasn't. Most Indian food you get here in Utah is going to be Americanized to some extent, but this food barely resembled Indian food. No taste, not good. Should have gone to the other place, or maybe just skipped Indian food in Logan. We did however find an amazing breakfast place. It's called Herm's Inn and the food was excellent. I had a corn beef benedict and absolutely loved it.
We went over the mountain to Bear Lake. Pretty much all the girls want to do is throw rocks in the water, so they were happy. It was a good time with those little weirdos. They make everything fun though. They get so excited about going on an adventure.
Mirinda has a new boyfriend. Blake. She was holding his hand as they walked into class. I wasn't happy about it. The problem is Mirinda doesn't like to tell me anything about her day. When I ask her what she's learned about at school she says A B C and when I ask her what else she learned she says 1, 2, 3. Now I make her tell me at least one thing that happened at school that day and she's gotten much better at it. Because of this I can't freak out too much about Blake or she won't tell me things anymore. So I asked her if he was nice and she said, "Yes. That's all I'm going to say". I'll have to be content with that, at least until the background check is done.
I'm turning 40 next week. I'm not happy about it. It's the Peter Pan syndrome I guess. It's why I'm in shorts and a tshirt every chance I get. I don't feel 40, so I guess that's good.
I took Mirinda to Costco the other day and we walked through the Christmas section. I've always been one that wanted to wait until December 1st to do anything Christmas, but not this year. I love Halloween, love Thanksgiving, and love Christmas and I'm all in. The Halloween decorations will go down after Halloween, and I'll probably put the Christmas lights up right after that. I'm waiting on Christmas music though because honestly, most of it isn't very good. I like the religious songs a lot. 'All I want for Christmas is You' though? Kill me. So I wait until December 1st for that.
As always thanks for reading. We've been on a bit of a lull on the podcast because Jim Bob is a world traveler now, but we'll get going again with some new episodes.

They Changed His Heart

This is a messed up world. There are a lot of strange and horrible things happening in it, but every once in a while there is a glimmer of hope. The McRib is coming back on Monday. I freaking love the McRib. I'm fully aware that it's meat shaped to look like ribs. I'm also fully aware that I do a podcast where I'm known as Snooty the food snob. It doesn't matter. The McRib is perfect, and I can hear no ill against it. I can't wait for Monday. I will be there with freaking bells on.
Tomorrow will be 4 years to the day that we met Mirinda. I can't believe it's been that long, and how much I love that kid. I had no idea what she was going to do to my life and I couldn't be happier about it.
I've been thinking about that day a lot. She was raised in a foster home. We went to the orphanage that had charge over the foster families. I needed to deposit some money to them, so I was working on that. The foster family was late, but finally they came in. Mirinda had on shorts and a hat and had her hands in her pocket. She looked up at on of the ladies and smiled, and I immediately fell in love with this kid. I was at the end of the hall and I looked to my right knowing that my dad was standing right there. He had died 6 months before we met her, but he was with me that day.
We went to lunch with the foster family. Mirinda was very happy and very cuddly. It was an absolutely perfect day. We spent some time with her, and made arrangements to take her for a while the next day. Here's the problem with perfect days: the next day is usually anything but perfect.
We took her for about 6 hours the next day. She fell asleep in the car ride to the hotel, so when she woke up she was in a very different place with two complete strangers. She started crying and didn't stop crying for 6 hours. Finally at one point she crouched down and held her legs because she was so distraught.
I never really questioned by desire to be a dad, but I did that day. I didn't have any idea how I could do this. I'd never experienced anything like that before. The next day we took custody of her, and she cried again. We flew from Mumbai to Delhi, and she was so upset being with us she wanted to sit with complete strangers on the plane. Keep in mind I don't blame her in any of this. I can't imagine being 2 years old and being taken away from the family you've known by two people that look completely different than what you're used to. My heart went out to the kid.
Things got better over the next week. She got used to things more, and even started to warm up to me very slightly. Then we came home, and she hated my guts. Every time I came home she would give me a dirty look. This might be very surprising to anyone who sees Mirinda and me now. She's my girl, but I had to learn how to be a dad. I had to learn to be patient and to be goofy with her, and get over my own reservations on how I should act. It was a process. A few years ago when I would come home she would want to go to her room to play, and I always said lets do something else. I said that simply because it bored me so much. I had to learn to make her a priority and to enjoy spending time with her regardless of how entertained I was. She is more important.
It's been an amazing 4 years with this kid, and I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. Seeing her learn and grow is making me so happy and proud of her. Seeing how great she is with Priya brings me a lot of joy, and how much fun it is to be with the two of them.
I've been thinking about meeting her a lot lately. Mostly because of the anniversary of it, but also because it taught me it's ok to do hard things and struggle. The point is to overcome what is hard. Sometimes it means taking a hard look at ourselves and determining what needs to change, and then slowly and steadily changing those things. We become better people in that way. Just don't give up. When I look at the day after meeting her and today, I would tell myself then that it does get much, much better. Keep your chin up and keep moving. It will get better and it will be worth it.

Just don't give up.

UN Sanctions Against Me

Wow, a lot of people really want to see me in drag. Listen, I'm a moderately attractive man, but holy crap I'd make an ugly, ugly woman. Me with pigtails? There would be anarchy in the streets. The UN would hold a special meeting for sanctions against me. They've been out to get me for years anyway.
All that being said, I can be bought for the right price. I'm not proud.
I am however losing. Mirinda got an Ana costume this week. I'm so depressed about it. They each sang they're different songs from that travesty of a cartoon. They also continue to watch the nipple show, as I now affectionately call it. The other day the things were opening up other dolls they received as presents that are only slightly smaller then them. It's like Mini Me from Austin Powers. This has to be stopped, and I need to be the one to stop it.
I've been making them watch more classic cartoons, and that is helping. Priya really likes them. Mirinda doesn't have a long enough attention span. We've been watching a lot of Halloween cartoons. It always brings joy to my heart. I freaking love Halloween. The Halloween decorations are up. We've got Pete the skeleton in the ground along with his headstone. It's an actual headstone. We owned a house a few years ago and it had a really old deck. One day as I was tearing up the deck to do something else in that spot, and there was a grave stone underneath the deck. Just a name, no death or birth date or anything. My first thought was, "Holy crap, I've got a body buried in my backyard." Thoughts of Funny Farm came into my head. I wasn't sure what to do. Finally one night I had a forensic investigator, two homicide detectives, and like 5 other cops in my backyard all staring at this gravestone not sure what to do. One of them told me if this was a dead body laying here they'd know exactly what to do, but they had no idea what to do in this case. Finally one of the investigators did some checking and called the previous owner of the home. He worked with leather (I'm assuming like leatherface) and needed a stone to work on, so he went to a place that made gravestones and bought one they had screwed up on. Over time he used it as a step for the deck, and finally it just was under the deck. Pete Peterson has been dead since 1998 and is buried in the South Jordan cemetery, not in my backyard. So I got a free headstone out of the deal, and Pete makes an appearance every Halloween.
His buddy is in a chair next to him, and his name is Coco, cause the girls were really into Coco when I got the skeleton. There's a spider next to him they named Cuckoo. So yeah, we're ready for Halloween.
I've been really amazed at how far Mirinda has come in kindergarten. She is now writing her name really well, and is really excelling. I love to see it. We always knew that she would be developmentally behind, which is why she was in early intervention programs. I love seeing how excited she gets at learning new concepts and doing new things. Yesterday she did the monkey bars mostly by herself, and she was so proud. It made me extremely happy. These girls really got a raw deal in the first part of their lives, and now they are making up for it.
Listen to my podcast and rate it. Please. I'll stop if I get one review. Promise.
If you've had more than one thing that is pumpkin spice this week, you need to examine your life. I like pumpkin spice, but come on. Relax. There are other flavors in the world.
As always thanks for listening! If you think you know my price for dressing like Ana, let me know and I'll make it happen.

Now Superman has let himself go

I lost. She has an Elsa costume. She's absolutely adorable in it, but it was hard to open it up and give it to her. I tried my best to persuade her to be something awesome. It was not to be. She does love to wear the costume. The other day I came home from work and she really wanted to wear it. I put it on her and she immediately through her hands in the air like she was the Emperor in Return of the Jedi. I asked her what she was doing and she said she was trying to freeze me. I asked her why, and she said it's because I was Ana. So I may be that for Halloween. Just to embarrass her. I think I'd make a pretty hot Ana.
Mirinda is Wonder Woman. She's got a sparkly shield and the whole bit. She's very excited about it. So am I. So am I. I might be Superman for Halloween, but again a Superman who let himself go. I'd be the star of a TV show. Superman: The Later Years. I think that's what it's down to for my Halloween costume. Batman who let himself go, Superman who let himself go, or Ana. Maybe we'll take a vote.
The girls have really gotten into YouTube lately, and it's time it stopped. I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's the Mos Eisley Cantina. A wretched hive of scum and villainy. They started watching this show where people take Barbie's and act out entire scenes of everyday life. It's a slice of life. They're mesmerized. They could sit and watch it for hours. They've taken Barbie's that are kids but are also Disney princesses and given them different names. Like child Elsa is Elsia. Child Ariel is Areola. Areola. As in nipple. That's what they named a character. You'd think someone would have said "Hey, you're marketing this sideshow attraction to kids, maybe don't name your characters after a nipple." Just saying.
So I decided it was time to instruct them in the classics. I've decided to start with Silly Symphonies. The skeleton dance was first up, and the girls really liked it. I'm not going to inundate them with it, but show them one at least every day. Try to ween them off nipple and the gang. No pun intended.
I hate trying to play outside when it starts to get cold though. So far I'm doing OK with not having it be warm, but we'll see how long that lasts. Everyone is happier when it's warm. People on the street are smiling and enjoying life. When it's cold everyone is angry and homicidal. That's my belief anyway. The farmers almanac said we'll have a cool winter with normal precipitation. If winter was really cool it would snow in the mountains and be 80 in the valley. What happened to your winter? You used to be cool.
As always, thanks for reading. Let me know what costume I should be for Halloween. Or how much you'd pay me to be Ana. Also, we have a new podcast episode up about R&R BBQ, so please go check it out and leave us a review. 

Batman has really let himself go

I do love the state fair. It's over this weekend so if you haven't gone yet, you need to go. You'll feel better about your own life. It's the food I love the most. We got a ridiculously huge hot dog covered with mac and cheese. It was not good. The girls ate the whole thing though, so I'm good with that. Got some poutine as well. Did you know they sell poutine at the Costco in Canada? That's a good reason to go there. There was a lady behind me in line that could not figure out what was on the menu. Like for 5 minutes she could not figure out if they had burgers or fries or what they had. Finally I turned around and made a suggestion that she should get the poutine and explained what it is. She was still confused and asked if they just had fries. I said they did, but why get fries when you can get super fries. She was not amused. I got my poutine and enjoyed it while smirking.
I did get a lobster roll that I was worried would kill me. Ridiculously overpriced but oh so tasty. The girls rode a bunch of dangerous rides and we went home.
Mirinda turned 6 this week. I can't believe what that little weirdo has done to my life. That kid makes me so happy. We're coming up on 4 years since taking custody of her, which is crazy to me. We went for Indian for her birthday, so she and Priya were very happy. They love India rice, as they call it. After dinner we went to Hires with my mom and step dad, so the girls got to ride in their car. That night in her prayers Priya said thank you for letting me ride in Gigi's car, because I really liked it. It was adorable.
I do think I'm losing Halloween this year. For the last month Priya has been saying she wanted to be Batgirl, and Mirinda wanted to be Wonder Woman. In my mind I was doing the dance of joy from Perfect Strangers cause I'm really happy about the costume choices. Last night we went to a Halloween store, and Priya was very firm about not wanting to be Batgirl. She wants to be Elsa. I've tried to talk her out of it. I absolutely despise that show. So so so much. It is my most hated Disney show. Even more than the live remake of Aladdin. I told Priya I really hated the show, and she put her hands on her hips and yelled, "You don't have to watch it!" That's a fair point, but still. I told her to think about it for one more day. For a little while Mirinda said she wanted to be Ana, but now she's back to wanting to be Wonder Woman. So I'll be paying for her college education.
I'm so excited for Halloween though. This has been the first year I haven't been completely depressed Summer is over. I am sad about it, but I'm also excited for the girls to be excited about the fall. It's really interesting how your priorities change with kids. They can't wait, so I can't wait. I may dress up as batman this year. Really it will be a Batman who's let himself go, but still Batman. Maybe not a fighting Batman, but more of a snarky, funny Batman who will make a pie for you.
It's time do decorate for Halloween. I've decided that. And time for a viewing of Young Frankenstein.
As a sneak peak for next weeks podcast, we'll be reviewing R&R BBQ. A lot of people have asked us to review it, so we will be. I'll give you a tip: the ribs are meh.
As always, thanks for reading! Godspeed.

Way to plant, Ann

I didn't write last week because I took the day off to have a four day weekend with my girls. Priya is always bugging me that I go to work every day and tell her to invent something really useful so we're independently wealthy and I can stay home every day. She's still working on it. I won't forget any of you when I'm rich.
The weekend was fantastic. Friday was spent taking Mirinda to kindergarten which was a strange feeling. She was nervous to go in and I wanted to take her to the movies, but we both made it and she had a great day at school. That night took the girls to see the live action Aladdin, and holy crap that thing is a horrible piece of garbage. Remember everything that Robin Williams did that was so brilliant and funny? Well Will Smith is going to do a quarter of that and make it not as funny. Remember how Jafar was scary? Well now he's a dead behind the eyes guy that you wish would go away cause he's annoying. Remember how the Sultan was this really good comedic relief and this really nice father figure. Now he's a wooden man that can barely move his mouth. Remember the movie Hitch? You could pretty much call this the sequel to Hitch with the way Will Smith plays it. I was not happy. I haven't been happy with most of the live action remakes though. I thought Cinderella was good. That's about it. I'm worried for Star Wars.
On Saturday we went on an adventure to Park City. I just wanted to explore. The girls loved it. Their favorite part was going to the Olympic Park and watching the skiers do jumps off the ramps into the pool. If they didn't do a flip, the girls were very upset. If they did a flip, they were cheered and clapped. It was adorable.
On Monday we went to Lagoon. It was very hot, but the girls loved it as usual. Went to the Biergarten for lunch again. By the way, we did an episode of that on the podcast. Go give it a listen. Then rate us and review us. Please. I'm begging.
Yesterday we went to the State Fair. It's sad how far down hill the fair has gone. No one goes anymore. Next week will be more busy. If you haven't gone in a while, pick a day, go to Smith's for discount tickets, and go. Seriously it is a lot of fun. Get some really horribly unhealthy food, walk around, buy something you don't need. Just enjoy it. If more people went they'd probably put more money into it. This year they have fried fat boy ice cream sandwiches. I had jalapeno lemonade last night and it was delicious. We're going back again on Monday. To eat more bad food.
Here's a pro garden tip. If you want to plant cucumbers, cantaloupe and honeydew, those are all excellent things to plant. Whatever you do though, don't plant them all right next to each other. I have so many melons right now, and all of them taste like cucumbers. The plants intertwined with each other somehow, and now I've got cucumber melons. The problem is they don't taste good. Otherwise I'd sell the patent and Priya wouldn't have to work so hard to support her father. If anyone has always wanted a melon that tastes like a cucumber it's your lucky day.
As always thanks for reading! Go check out our podcast please. We'd love some feedback, good or bad.

A Sentence I Never Thought I'd Put Together

I was a little rantier than usual last week. I'll try to tone that down this week. When I get going there's no stopping me. Except donuts. Donuts are great. But not Dunkin Donuts, and that's depressing. It's only here in Utah that Dunkin is not good. Other places they're fantastic and I was so excited when they first came here. Then I ate one. Not so excited. I was in JFK airport at 3:30 in the morning and the only thing that was open was a Dunkin Donuts shack, and those donuts were still better than the Dunkin we have in Utah. I was trying to be healthy, so I thought I would get a donut and a banana, thinking the two would cancel each other out. When I picked up the banana the guy behind the counter said, "I just want to let you know that the banana's are $3.50 each, are you OK with that?" I said no and put the banana back. And got another donut for $1. True story. I appreciated the Dunkin Donuts shack employee honesty. I'll never forget that Dunkin Donuts shack employee. Never.

Speaking of donuts I had to put together a sentence I never thought I'd have to put together the other day. We had Lehi Bakery donuts, which are the greatest of all the donuts. The girls were outside playing and I was watching them. They found some ants so they're blood lust was in full swing. Mirinda wanted to kill an ant, but she didn't want to use her fingers. So I'm watching her to see what she'll do. She thinks for a second, and then uses the end of her donut to attempt to squish the ant. I said, "Honey, don't rub your food on the ground." Then I said, "I never thought I'd have to put that sentence together and lob it at another member of my species. Thank you for that." She ate the donut and the ant was find. Win win win.

Priya started preschool this week and loves it. She is really smart and loves to learn. She also still qualifies for early intervention, so she'll be going to preschool 3 days a week and early intervention 2 days a week. Mirinda met her kindergarten teacher this week and really likes her. She starts next week. I'm so depressed that the both of them are going back to school. I'm really trying not to show it. People seem confused when I say that, but seriously I don't want them to lose the ability to be creative and have fun and use their imagination. Education is extremely important, but I never want them to lose the child like innocence. I realize I can't really control that. If you've ever listened to Logical Song by Breakfast in America, that's exactly how I feel. 

I really think one of the issues is we want our kids to be successful so we focus so much on grades and homework. Between that and screen time we're forgetting how to use our imaginations. We don't have the creative outlets that we used to. We end up with kids that can't communicate so they go deeper in their shell. That's my goal I think. To help them learn what they need to learn, but never lose the spark of who they are, and never squash their sense of happiness and wonder. I think we all want that. I often think about the dedication that CS Lewis wrote to his goddaughter Lucy in The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe: 

"My Dear Lucy,

        I wrote this story for you, but when I began it I had not realized that girls grow quicker than books. As a result you are already too old for fairy tales, and by the time it is printed and bound you will be older still. But some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again. You can then take it down from some upper shelf, dust it, and tell me what you think of it. I shall probably be too deaf to hear, and too old to understand a word you say but I shall still be your affectionate Godfather,”

—C. S. Lewis

That's really what I want. For my kids never to be too old for fairy tales. You can be responsible and should be. Homework must get done. Responsibilities need to be fulfilled, That doesn't mean we need to become unhappy robots in the process, and I really think that comes from fantasy and imagination. I hope that wasn't too ranty, but that's what I mean when I say I'm depressed about my kids going back to school.

We've got a new podcast episode coming out next week. We're reviewing the Biergarten at Lagoon, so please watch for that. Please give a listen and give us a review. We really appreciate it!

Concerning Hobbits

I realized the other day that I'm raising hobbits. These girls are starting to be very hungry. We had 2nd dinner the other day. Both of them had dance class. Mirinda does Bollywood Dancing and Priya is in a dance and tumbling class. They love to do it. I smoked a sirloin roast this week, and they had that with corn on the cob and watermelon. I'm not exactly starving these girls. They ate all their food. After picking Priya up they wanted to go to Costco because some Wonder Woman halloween costumes are there, and they both want to be Wonder Woman for Halloween, so they wanted to show me the costumes. I told them we'd wait until the Halloween stores opened up before buying a costume. It was then they told me they were both hungry. So I told them we'd find some samples, but it was too late and all the sample places had closed up. Mirinda decided she wanted pizza, and Priya decided she wanted a hot dog. I told them they don't eat that much and we'd only buy one of them, but they were insistent. It's like $3.50 for the both of them together, so I figured I would indulge them, thinking I would eat whatever was left. There was nothing left. Priya ate the entire foot long hot dog by herself. She doesn't eat the bun, but still that's impressive. Mirinda downed 90% of her pizza by herself, and got made at me anytime I took a bite. Then before we went to bed they told me they were hungry. At that point I told them they'd had enough. Right now I'm trying to convince them to go as Frodo and Sam for Halloween. We'll see how successful I am. If they do that I'm going to go as Gandalf the Grey, so we'll see how well that goes.
Priya loves her physical therapist because he's funny and likes to joke with her. The problem is she won't do any of the exercises because she likes to make him laugh. Which means I've got two flirty class clowns that like 2nd dinner, and a lot of gray hairs. She still is doing amazingly well. Honestly the only thing that I'm frustrated with right now is that kids are jerks. They really are. Over the last week I've seen two different times when a kid wasn't paying attention, side swiped Priya, and she spun around and fell down. It breaks my heart to see it. I realize that kids aren't always aware of their surroundings, and how the things they do effect other people. Neither of these times were malicious, so I'm not going to start yelling at some strangers kid. It's extremely infuriating because Priya really beats up on herself when she falls down. That's our job to teach her how to pick herself up again, and it's something she's going to have to go through, but sometimes you want to yell and scream, not so much at the kids but at the parents who aren't watching their kids and correcting this behavior. It comes back to entitlement, and we have a real problem with it in our society. And it's everywhere. It's not just one culture or belief system, it is all over the place. We've become obsessed with our phones and how everything effects us, and not how we're effecting other people, and as a result we've become heartless. Get off your phone and see the world around you. I need the reminder too because it's so easy to go to our phones when we're bored.
I'm amazed at how often I'll hear kids talking about Priya's boot that she wears. It's usually little girls because they tend to be more observant. I'm to the point now that when I hear someone talking about the boot I'll kindly tell them what it's for and why she's wearing it. I don't ever want her to feel ashamed about who she is, and what physical limitations she might have been born with. That kids is amazing. Both my kids are. They're both miracles and I couldn't love them more if I tried.
We've got a new podcast episode up! This time we're reviewing Cafe Wave. Please go give it a listen. We're on Stitcher, Itunes, Spotify, or you can go to our Facebook page and download the episode now. We're also on Instagram, so follow us there. Please give us a review, we would really, really appreciate it!
Thanks for reading! A little ranty today, but I use this platform to get things off my chest that have been bugging me.

Fried Butter and Annoying Kid

Last week I said that the whitest thing I've done in a long time is go to Classic Skating. Since them I've done something even more white. I went to the county fair. I love going to fairs. When you go to a fair you realize that you're actually doing pretty well in life. It's a tremendous ego boost for me, which anyone that knows me knows that is a big problem I have.
This year was a strange fair though. I'm not sure what happened. Every year the fair has livestock and things to do indoors as well as rides and horribly unhealthy fair food. That's what a fair is. Fried butter and cheating death on a 50 year old ride operated by a drunk and possibly homicidal carny. Then if you survive that you get to go and see some cows. This year the Salt Lake County fair has no rides. It's kind of annoying. I think they were worried about the rides taking away from the animals, but come on. If you come to the fair you're probably going to see everything. Every year they talk about discontinuing the fair because no one goes anymore, so let's take away some of the fun aspects of the fair and have a display about honey. Or a table full of legos. The girls still enjoyed it. They rode the ponies twice. Mirinda rode all by herself the second time, and that was a proud father moment. She was so proud of herself. It made me extremely happy. Priya rode as well, but the second time she wanted the cowboy to walk next to her. She was very flirty. Yep, I have two very flirty girls. I will not allow country music in the house, however.
We still ate some unhealthy food, but it was from a food truck. It was a pizza cone, which is exactly what it sounds like. It was good, but took 10 minutes to cook. I'm not entirely sure how they make any money.
At Lagoon a Beach this week I had a strange experience. Mirinda was riding the water slides, and there was a kid at the bottom of the water slide who was stopping people from going until he wanted them to go. Mirinda was coming down the slide, so I told him to move. He said no cause he was keeping people safe. I told him it wasn't his job and to get out of the way cause my daughter is coming down. He did move, but he moved to the top of the slide and started picking up kids to putting them on the slide. Even if the parents were there he would take the kid out of the parents hands and put them on the slide. I told at him to get out of the way, and he said he was making sure everyone is safe. Then he tried to pick up my daughter, and I yelled at him to get his hands off of her. It kind of freaked him out, but he didn't stop. I went to the lifeguard and she basically said "Yeah, he likes to do that" and walked away. We were there with another family, and Tiff went to go down the slide with her daughter, and she told him (much nicer than I did) that it wasn't his job, and the parents were taking care of the safety of their children. So he left, but he had what I could only assume were his brother and sister start to monitor the slide. I finally had to leave the area cause I was going to start getting really antagonistic. The real issue was he was slowing everyone down and picking up kids he didn't know. I realize he was young, but seriously kid. He was probably 11 or 12. Old enough to realize not to do that sort of thing. It was annoying. Interferers and busy bodies will be the downfall of us all. Or at least be slightly annoying.
Snooty and Slackjaw are on Itunes now! We've had quite a few listens. Please go and listen and rate us. It's a lot of fun to do the podcast, and we'd love to have even more people listening. Go and try some of the places we reviewed and let us know what you think. We just recorded another one the other day. The place we review is called Cafe Wave. It's in South Jordan. The chips. That's all I'll say about it. It will be up next week.
As always, thanks for reading. Keep watching the skis.

1987 Called

I did the whitest thing I've done in a long time last night. I went to Classic Skating. It was for a birthday party for one of Mirinda's best friends. It was fun, but man it was white. I've got to hand it to them though, that place was hopping. The medley of tunes from The Greatest Showman was a tough sell. It was also like 130 degrees in there. There's nothing quite like seeing a grown white man doing the gangnam style dance dance while drenched in sweat and on roller blades. The girls rode on scooters, and they enjoyed it. I laughed. A lot.
Classic needs to step it up with some of their employees though, or have them do different jobs. One of the guys on the skating rink was creeping me out to no end. It took me two hours to figure out he worked there. How do I describe this guy? I think 1987 was a really good year for him. At the end of the year he brought his friends and family together, and told them he was done moving forward. 1987 would always be the year for him, and he hoped they would support him in that. He had lights on his skates, acid washed jeans, a referee shirt, moustache, and kind of a flat top. He was skating all alone for like two hours just watching people. It was really freaking me out, and I kept my girls pretty close in case Chester (that was my name for him) came to close. I was ready to lay Chester out. Then I saw the other employees had referee shirts on too, and realized he was some kind of crack security squad for the skating rink. That's a good business model. Let's find the creepiest guy possible and put him out on the skating rink with the teenagers.
The night was fun though, and the girls loved to be at the birthday party.
Priya has her new boot, and she is adjusting to it pretty well. It's heavier, so she still drags that leg a little, but she is still going to physical therapy and working on it. What worries me is how hard she is on herself. She fell down a few times yesterday when she was on the scooter, and she kept telling me she couldn't do it. I kept explaining to her that she was doing great, and everyone falls sometimes. I'm glad she's determined, but holy crap girl cut yourself some slack.
I took Mirinda to see Spider Man this week. It didn't go well. She wasn't scared, just bored. We left after an hour. Luckily and unluckily it was $5 Tuesday. It was cheap so I didn't mind leaving, but I really hate what movie theaters have become. It used to be an experience. Now it's a chance for people to show just how oblivious they are to the rest of the world. I honestly blame cell phones. We've become so self obsessed as a people. I'm always amazed when someone will stop in the middle of a walk way to look at their phone, and then get made when you are trying to get past them. We do that in cars too, and then it's even worse. Honestly we need to start focusing more on how am I effecting other people. That's a question we each need to ask ourselves. Not constantly, cause that's dumb, but more often. End of rant.
Sooooo, have you listened to my podcast yet? If not, I'm begging you, imploring you to do so. The episodes are only about 10 minutes long. We are on Spotify, and we just got approved on Stitcher. I'll include the link below. Please go on and listen, and give us a review. If you agree, let us know. If you try a place on our recommendation, let us know. If you disagree, let us know. I promise I won't roast you. I realize food is subjective. It's evident by the fact that people still go to Olive Garden. But please take a few minutes to listen and give us a rating.
As always thanks for reading!
Link to the podcast: https://www.stitcher.com/s?fid=449905&refid=stpr

It's raining dinosaurs. Hallelujah.

I didn't write last week cause I had the day off to go to Vernal. Usually that isn't a positive thing. It's like saying I had the day off to dig a hole to nowhere, but Vernal is actually a really cool place. I wanted to go there because I've never been there and I want to start exploring more. I have my places that I like to go every year because they're awesome. And let's be honest, whenever I have enough money my first thought is to go to Disneyland.
For this trip I really wanted to go check out the Dinosaur National Monument. When I first booked it I went to the website, and it said they had 12 days of activities to do. My first thought was that is bull. Holy crap, though. When we got down there I realized just how much there is to do. Vernal is an extremely pretty valley, with a ton of little canyons. In one canyon there are Native American Petroglyphs. In another canyon there are two really pretty lakes. We went to Red Fleet Reservoir. It's an amazing lake at the top of a mountain surrounded by really cool rocks. The water temperature is 70 degrees. We spent a few hours there, and eventually rented a kick boat. That was a tremendous mistake. They're incredibly hard to get moving, and they're really hard to control Not to mention there were two weirdos that kept saying we weren't moving nearly fast enough. We rented it for an hour, made it 15 minutes. Par for the course.
We went to the Dinosaur National Monument which is about 15 miles outside of town. If you haven't been there in a while, or have never been there, I highly recommend it. You go into the visitor center, and then take a shuttle up to the wall of bones. It's literally a wall of dinosaur bones. Back in the early 1900's the man who discovered the find had taken so many bones out of there, and there were still a ton more. He petitioned the government to keep the rest of the wall as it is and make it a national monument for education purposes. There is a section of wall that gives you the ability to actually touch a dinosaur bone. The girls thought it was the coolest thing! They absolutely loved it. The whole trip was one big adventure. We did a lot of swimming, and ate mostly at good places. The King Tut and Dinosaur Cafe was not good. With a name like that I should have known better. Country Grub was fantastic, and Mirinda invited Betty from Betty's Cafe to come and live with us.
The only weird thing about Vernal is every place you go to eat they have Pepsi on tap. I mean every place. I couldn't figure out why it was every place. Finally when we're on our way out of town there was a Pepsi bottling plant. It all made sense. I think I kind of like Pepsi again. I've sworn it off for so many years, but Crystal Pepsi came back and it made me so happy it softened my heart towards Pepsi.
I hope everyone had a fantastic Pioneer Day. I certainly did. Took Mirinda and Priya up to Lagoon, and we spent most of the day there Those two are so adorable. I had them take an old timey photograph dressed as cowgirls. They were so excited. We ate an incredible amount of sugar. Like incredible amounts of sugar. That's what the pioneers would have wanted.
The podcast is up and running! Right now we're just on Spotify, but we're going to be on Itunes and google podcasts, as well as I Heart Radio and Stitcher. There are 3 episodes currently, with one more in the process of being edited. Right now you can go to Spotify and search for Snooty and Slackjaw Restaurant Review. You can also go to our Facebook page. If you like what you hear please leave a comment and share it with your friends. If there is a place you'd really like us to review, please let us know! Thanks for reading!

It's a Festivus Miracle

McDonald's fries are some of the best fries in the world, except when they're not salted. And these are not salted. Get with it McDonald's on 4500 south just off of I-15 with the girl at the register wearing a hoodie in 95 degree heat. Get with it.
Priya walked this week! It's the first time in 9 weeks she's walked on her own. It was amazing. Absolutely amazing moment. She was so pleased with herself, and she has every right to be. Now she walks everywhere, and doesn't like to be held. I love it so much. This morning she was jumping on her little trampoline. It's got a hand bar so that helps. She did it a little too much and it started to hurt her. It's hard because I don't want her to injure herself, but I also don't want her to be afraid. She's already talking about wanting to run because we kept telling her she's going to be able to run. She'll get there. You've got to learn to crawl before you learn to walk as Steven Tyler says. There's your obscure Aerosmith reference for the week.
I didn't write last week cause I had the day off and just wanted to spend it with the family. We had a fantastic time glamping at Bear Lake. No one slept. We're still in the process of getting the girls to sleep in their own bed. Inside the tent at Conestoga Ranch they have a king size bed, and two single beds. I thought this would be a perfect time to get them to sleep in their own beds. Holy crap was I wrong. I finally ended up getting in one of the single beds and falling asleep. Everything else was great though. I still thoroughly recommend that place.
We had a good 4th of July. Priya didn't really remember last years 4th of July, so it was cool to see her reactions to fireworks. We had a few BBQ's and I smoked a whole bunch of meat. That's a successful weekend. I hate sparklers though. I really, really do. Let's hold a stick that's burning at 3000 degrees at the other end. If you tried to get that approved today you'd be strung up. Think about it. If sparklers hadn't been invented and you had this great idea to have a metal stick that lights up on one end and burns at 3000 degrees and only stops when it gets near your hand people would be comparing you to Hitler. We had left over sparklers and I purposely left them on the lawn so the sprinklers would get them and I could throw them away. Pops are cool though, cause I feel like a ninja who needs to vanish. Smoke bombs are dumb, unless you're a fairly flamboyant ninja who needs to vanish in a puff of purple smoke. If that's your thing, go for it Leonardo.
My kids have the blood lust. Like every day I imagine them preparing for battle like Rambo did in First Blood. I want to get them red headbands. Their blood lust is against ants, and it cannot be sated. At the beginning of the summer we had a colony of red ants move into the patio and were getting in the sandbox. Red ants bite, so I needed to kill them. I bought some spray and they're all dead now. I have a rule with bugs that if they come into the house, they are dead. If they are outside, I'm like it's cool man. You do your thing and I'll do mine. Not my girls. First of all they thing anything on the ground that's black is a bug. I found them freaking out about a large piece of lint the other day. They were convinced it was moving, and by the way they were acting I think they were convinced it was going to kill and eat the entire family. If they see an ant Mirinda will jump up screaming, and Priya will use her new found walking ability to stomp the life out of that ant. Like with extreme prejudice. She treats it as if the ant has done her some personal injury and she's doing this as a lesson to the other ants. And when she's done stomping the life out of the ant, she wants to cuddle. Those girls are sweet and terrifying.
I got a bonus, so what do I do with a portion of it? I buy my girls another power wheels car. They had two, but one of them is on it's last legs. We've had it since we got Mirinda. The girls are getting older, and they like the Wonder Woman Jeep, so now they have a Barbie Dune Cruiser. It goes off road and it's pretty sweet. Barbie was not my first choice. They had a Batmobile one and it was freaking awesome, but one day it was one price, and the next day it went up $50, so the Barbie one was what they got. It has two speeds. 2.5 MPH and 5 MPH. We don't even bother with the 2.5 MPH. The girls love it. I have no regrets. I also learned that the Wonder Woman Jeep has two speeds, but it has a lock on the higher speed. Now they both go super fast. As long as they're blood lust doesn't move up to cats and dogs, we should be OK.
Thanks for reading! We've got 3 episodes of Snooty and Slackjaw recorded. Unfortunately, they were almost done uploading on the dial up connection, and someone picked up the phone, so we had to start all over again. Patience gentle reader, you'll get Snooty and Slackjaw soon enough. 

Illuminati Confirmed

Priya had physical therapy this week, and it has really helped. They said that psychologically the mind is scared to put weight on the leg after something like that surgery, and as a result Priya has been really careful with her leg. Now she's realizing that she misses walking and being more independent, so she wants to walk more. It makes me happy to see. Especially that her leg is turned the right way.
It's been an interesting week with those two weirdos. They both sleep in our bed. I don't usually say that because the look I usually get from people is, "I didn't know I was a better parent than you. That's good to know." It had to happen. We went through one full year with Mirinda trying to get her to sleep in her room. She fought tooth and nail. There were several months I was sleeping on a bean bag next to her bed just to get her to stay in her room. Finally we realized it wasn't going to happen, and let her sleep in our bed. She was developmentally behind at that time, and still wasn't speaking much. Within a week of letting her do that she began to speak in full sentences and started to develop rather quickly. I think part of it was she was getting sleep, and part of it was it reduced her anxiety.
I get annoyed when I hear "They say you shouldn't...". I'm never sure who "they" are. Illuminati confirmed.
The plan was to get them to sleep in their own beds when Priya came home, but the transition was tough, and it was pushed back.
Now these girls are getting older and more mature, and it's time for them to sleep in their own beds. It's been fairly successful. It's also been some very cool father/daughter moments. The first night Priya went to bed happily, but the second night she cried a lot. She finally did fall asleep, but it took a while. The next night she started crying again, and I had her on my lap. I asked her what was scaring her, and she said ghosts. I asked her if she was afraid ghosts were going to come get her and she said yes. Then I told her about the angels that were watching over her and the house, and how I would tell the ghosts to go away. She made me repeat that a few more times, but then she calmed down and went to sleep.
With Mirinda she was really excited to sleep in her own bed, but then would sleep for a few hours and wake up screaming when we weren't in bed with her. So a few nights ago I told her if she woke up she could just come into the room and tap me on the arm, and I would pick her up. She didn't need to scream. The next morning she was in bed with me, and I asked Amy what time she put her in bed with me. Amy said she didn't, she thought I had gotten Mirinda. I didn't. Mirinda woke up scared, got out of bed, and crawled into bed with me without waking anyone up.
They both listened to me, which is a strange experience. Most of the time when I'm asking them to do something I imagine they're thinking, "Dear Man, we appreciate that you're speaking to us right now, but we're going to do whatever we feel like." So hopefully we'll get to the point soon where both of them are sleeping in their own beds, and I'll stop falling off the bed at night because Mirinda gains like 150 pounds when she sleeps.
We're going camping this weekend, and the girls couldn't be more excited. Last year Mirinda wanted to turn in at about 5:00 because she was so excited to sleep in a tent, so we'll see how this year goes.
We are going to be launching the podcast soon, but Jim Bob uses Windows 95 with a dial up connection, so it takes like a week and a half to upload something. But rest assured we'll have it up and running soon! Thanks for reading!

New Coke. Seriously?

Priya is doing amazingly well. We've gone swimming 3 times in the last week, and she is so happy about it. That girl is a fish. She crawling pretty well, and will walk when someone is holding her up. She still treats that leg pretty gingerly, but that's to be expected. She did ride on her tricycle the other day, and was so proud of herself. Her first physical therapy session is on Monday.
I'm also happy to report that she's gone back to her sweet happy self. It doesn't mean she doesn't get mad at me still. I'm teaching both of them how to play chess and I took one of her pieces. The look she gave me meant she was going to kill me in my sleep. I sleep with one eye open now.
Slowly but surely we're getting life back to normal. The girls were adorable on Father's Day. They answered some questions about me, and I got a good laugh about that. Priya thinks I'm 4 and Mirinda thinks I'm 1. One of the questions was what does daddy say to you a lot, and Priya said I say good job a lot. I was happy about that. I'm glad it wasn't that I say pull your head out a lot or something like that.
We're going glamping next week, and the girls are so excited. If you've never done that, it's glamorous camping. There's a place called Conestoga ranch in Bear Lake. You can sleep in a covered wagon that has a king sized bed and 2 bunk beds in it, or a big tent that has a king size bed and two single beds. They have even larger tents that can sleep more, and one really large tent that has a bathroom attached, but that's like $400 a night. For $400 a night I'm not sleeping in a tent. It's an extremely fun place, and I really recommend it. Fancy Nancy goes camping in one of the episodes, so the girls have been asking to do that for a little while.
The girls received a really wonderful box from Mrs. Claus last week. It told them that she and Santa were so proud of them for all they went through with the cast, and had a bunch of toys and clothes for them. The girls were beyond excited and we are so grateful to the couple that sent it to them. It meant so much to us!
The whole nostalgia movement has now gone too far. I like nostalgia. I like going through and playing the video games I play when I was a kid. I was happy when they brought back Crystal Pepsi, because I love Crystal Pepsi. But here's the issue. We remember these things from when we were a kid and because of the internet we start pushing for things to be brought back, and then they come back we realize they weren't that good, then we're mad. It's annoying sometimes. A lot of times. It's like the 4th season of Arrested Development. Absolutely awful, but so many people pushed for it and were so excited for it. It's unwatchable. Most of the time lightning doesn't strike twice, so enjoy what there was and move on. Today I found out they're bringing back New Coke because of Stranger Things. Seriously? New Coke? One of the worst possible ideas in the history of bad ideas? It's just the same as saying, "You know what everyone misses from the 80's? The constant threat of nuclear war. Let's bring that back." Same exact thing as bringing back New Coke. I think New Coke caused mutations too, so that's even worse. Let's stop with the nostalgia and enjoy the now. 
This past week Jim Bob and I recorded our first podcast episode! It hasn't been uploaded yet because we're working out some bugs, but once it is please go out and listen to it. If you like what you hear, please share it. We'll be on Facebook and Instagram, but not Twitter because cesspool. I'm really excited about this.
As always thanks for reading, and I'll keep you updated on the new podcast.

They're getting smarter and I'm getting grayer. And Leo's getting larger

What a freaking relief to have that kid out of a cast! Seriously. She's gone back to her old sweet sassy self, and she couldn't be happier about it. We've learned not to bug her when she's doing something she likes doing. The other day Grandpa Tim called to talk to her, but she was in the sandbox and had no interest in talking at that time. She isn't really walking yet, but they said that would take 3 to 4 weeks. We did go swimming, and that kid is a fish in the water. I was extremely concerned about her pushing that leg too much. It did spasm at one point, so once that happened we went to the kid area and just let her swim back and forth. She is a smart kid, but a little too smart. She kept swallowing water, so I told her to come see me so I could teach her what to do. She wouldn't. I told her to come here again, she wouldn't. Finally I pulled her towards me to tell her what to do, and she was still mad. Later at home she told me she already knew how to swim and didn't need my help. She'll be interesting to deal with as she gets older.
She got to ride in the baby sparkly car finally, and she told me she loves it. She wasn't able to ride in it before cause she had to lay down and the seat isn't long enough. It's fun to watch her discover things she likes to do again. She knelt down to say the prayer last night and she was very pleased with herself. She took a bow afterwards.
I've noticed Mirinda comprehending a lot more things lately as well. It's terrifying. They're both extremely smart girls and I feel like I'm on a game of the Weakest Link. Coming back from swimming Mirinda wanted a quesadilla and a taco, and Priya wanted a Happy Meal, so I did what I vowed I'd never do and went to both places. We went to Taco Bell first and Mirinda ate her quesadilla roll up (as she calls it) very quickly, but I'm not going to have her eat a taco in the baby sparkly car. She was hungry, but I told her it would be a few minutes. We went to McDonald's and Priya wanted chicken nuggets. Mirinda decided she wanted chicken nuggets to, but we told her she had already made her choice. She started to throw a fit, but I told her she wasn't going to share half her taco with Priya, so Priya's not going to share half her chicken nuggets with Mirinda. She calmed down for a few minutes, and then told Priya she really wanted to share half her taco with her, as if it was her idea. They're getting smarter and more crafty. Hopefully I'm not the weakest link.
We're going to Lagoon tomorrow and the girls are very excited. Priya is extremely excited to go on some rides, though I think we'll do some of the more gentle rides for a while. I'm just happy that she can do the things she loves to do again.
The girls don't like it when I go to work, so lately Priya has been telling me to go to work as we're getting ready for bed. In her mind if I work all night I'll be home when she wakes up. Crafty. Just another level of terror I'm experiencing.
I talked a few weeks ago about the podcast Jim Bob and I are starting, and we're going to record the first episode tonight, so please watch for that and support us! I'm excited about it. I miss doing improv acting and a lot of it will be that. Thanks for all the support for Priya! I really can't tell you how much it means to me and my family!

Overwhelming Relief

The cast came off today, and all I feel is overwhelming relief! Priya did amazing. She had two nurses on either side cutting the cast off her. Her skin looks great, and she now has a wicked cool scar. It is really long. She is so happy to have it off! They took x-rays and its amazing to see what her leg looks like now. The doctors are really happy with it. They moved her leg and it rotated the way it should. I never thought that something so simple would amaze me like it has. They're making a new boot for her, and gave her a walker. She'll need it for 3 to 4 weeks. That's what they said, but I don't think it will be that long. Is it wrong that I want to dress her up like a little old lady with a walker and take some pictures? Probably. I just think it would be hilarious.
She'll start doing physical therapy, and they said pool time is great, so we'll be doing that quite a bit. It was amazing to see the difference in her already. We went to lunch and she was more than happy to sit in a high chair by herself and eat. There's a huge difference in this kid. She's developed some bad habits that we need to fix now, but that's a small price to pay for a hip.
This morning I was thinking about the first day I met her. I was in Nagpur, India, and the a hotel car with a driver. I told him the address and it took us about 45 minutes to find the place, and then another 45 minutes to find the orphanage once we found the building. The orphanage is in a state hospital, and it's huge. I was glad I had the driver with me because not many people spoke English, and a lot of them were terrified of this huge white man walking down the halls.
We finally found the orphanage, and this little tiny girl that couldn't walk very well came out to see me. I brought her a coloring book and crayons, and we sat on the floor and colored together. Her whole life up to that point had been four small rooms. It is a good orphanage, but it's a hard place to grow up. The only time she left was to go to the doctor.
This was just about a year and a half ago. Now she's in a comfortable home with parents and a sister who love her so much. She's able to get amazing medical attention, and will have every opportunity to have a happy and healthy life. I'm overwhelmed with gratitude for all that. This kid deserves it. She deserves to have joy. She deserves to run and be a kid. I can't believe how lucky I am to be her dad.
The Lord has blessed our daughters so much and I'm filled with such joy for them. We've still got work to do, but for now the burden has been lifted and I feel a sense of relief that I can't fully explain. In the last book of the Chronicles of Narnia series, CS Lewis wrote, "The term is over; the holidays have begun. The dream is ended: this is the morning". That's how I feel right now.
Thank you to family and friends who have been so supportive and have helped us through this time. We could not have done it without you!

He needs The Doctor

4 days left! Holy crap it seems like an eternity since this kid could walk. The good news is she has been in a little better mood this week. Not completely, but better. She is so excited to be able to walk again, and Mirinda keeps telling Priya about all the things she can do when she gets her cast off. It's adorable. She tells Priya she will be able to run as fast as she does, swim, ride her bike and dance. Mirinda is her biggest cheerleader. On Tuesday the cast will come off, and then we'll see how much atrophy there is. The way Priya learns things, I think she'll have it figured out in about a day, and the muscle will be much stronger in about a week. It would be fascinating to see her thought process as she realizes that her leg moves where it is supposed to move now. She's literally going to have to learn how to walk again. I think she'll absolutely love it. As a dad I can't wait to see it.
No matter what we do though, man that cast stinks. Remember that scene in Star Wars Episode 4 when they go down the garbage shoot and Han Solo says, "What an incredible smell you've discovered!". Her cast smells like what I imagine it smelled like down there. It happens with all casts. That's a million dollar idea though. To find a way to freshen up a cast (they told us not to use febreeze). You'd be rich. Or I will be once I get it figured it out. Patent pending.
Speaking of Star Wars I have been geeking out the last week about Star Wars Galaxies Edge in Disneyland. It looks so amazing. I'm already planning out what lightsaber I'm going to build. I realize it's $200 to build one, I just don't care. There's a droid station where you can build you're own remote control droid from scratch. It reacts to things around the park. The food looks so cool, and the millennium falcon ride looks absolutely incredible. Plus, right now there are record low numbers at the park. I have the app that allows you to see wait times on rides, and on the day the park opened there was a 10 minute wait time for the millennium falcon ride. I think everyone figured it was going to be too crazy at the opening, so no one went. Seriously it's going to be so cool. Really the only problem is the LA Times sent a bunch of their people to review the park, and their all d-bags that don't care about Star Wars. The food critic started his youtube video by saying, "Space, the Final Frontier." I thought you poor, poor d-bag. You're about to be destroyed on the internet. Plus he kept talking about all the food there as being cafeteria style food. Yep, you're in a cafeteria. That's the annoyance I have. I'm a bit of a food snob, but it doesn't mean I don't enjoy a greasy burger or a cafeteria. Any food can be good if it is prepared correctly. I get annoyed when things aren't prepared correctly. I can appreciate a cafeteria for what it is, if it tastes good.
Speaking of geeking out, I watch Doctor Who on my phone every night as we're calming down for the night. The girls usually watch Peppa Pig, and I watch Doctor Who. Every night Mirinda asks me what I'm watching, and I tell her The Doctor. Last night we were reading the scriptures. We have the illustrated ones and we were reading about Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross. Mirinda asked me if He had an owie, and I said yes it was a really big owie. She said He needed a doctor and I told her He went to Heavenly Father after that happened and Heavenly Father helped. She said, "No, He needs the doctor on your phone." It took me a second after she said that because we've done connect care on my phone before to talk to a doctor when she was sick, and then I realized she was saying Jesus needed The Doctor from Doctor Who. It was hilarious and adorable. I explained to her that Jesus was OK now, and He didn't need The Doctor. I love kids.
I'm a little depressed because Billy B's shut down. They said they were going to open back up at the beginning of May, but now the building has an available sign in it. I want to find the lady that made the donuts and beg her to open up a donut shop in town, but maybe it isn't meant to be.
Thanks for reading, and for all the people that have asked and been concerned for Priya. We're almost done!

Baby Sparkly Car

Does anybody know how to cut a cast off? Cause I may just do it myself. Seriously. It's starting to smell bad, which is going to happen. I think they put something in the cast to make it heavier over time. Priya is tough to read cause in one breath she'll be screaming at you, and in the next breath telling you how much she loves you. She's like a drunk friend that can't walk and needs to be carried around.
When I come home the girls like to get down on the floor and have me tickle them. I love doing it because I've been away from them all day, and then I can get down on their level and talk to them about their day. Lately Priya has asked to be tickled, and then gets mad when I tickle her. Then she gets mad when I tickle Mirinda. So I find myself talking in a would be calm voice a lot around her.
It's hard to blame her. I can't imagine having to be carried around constantly for the last four weeks, but there are definitely some habits she's picked up from this that we'll have to break when this is all over. We're down to 11 days! I was thinking about looking up how to remove a cast on youtube, but the temptation would be too great. Plus I don't think doctors like it when you do that kind of stuff. Prideful, prideful doctors.
We did go to the South Jordan Summerfest yesterday and ate some horribly unhealthy delicious food. I like the South Jordan Summerfest and not just because there's a good chance you'll be critically injured on the rides. I just like the atmosphere, and I have a deep abiding respect for carnies. Plus the likelihood you'll be shot isn't as high as it is at Westfest. Pluses all around.
We had a fantastic Memorial Day weekend. Visited some graves and had fun at Lagoon. We did a BBQ Sunday night, and I smoked some chickens. Holy crap they were good. This may sound completely prideful but man I'm a good cook. Is that over the top?
We visited my dad's next door neighbors as well. My dad passed away about 4 years ago, and we haven't seen them since he passed. It was a great experience to see them again, and to hear so many great things said about him. Man I miss him.
I got a new car this last weekend. We lease both our cars, and the lease was up on one of them. I decided to go with a Mazda 3 for the gas mileage, and man that car is sexy. I wanted a red one, but they didn't have a red one in what I wanted so I went with a silver one. The girls were excited and kept saying daddy was going to get a baby car because the car we were trading in was a SUV. Mirinda went with me to get the car because she's my little helper. She likes that it sparkles in the sun, and started calling it my baby sparkly car. There's nothing more emasculating than your daughter asking if we're going to drive the baby sparkly car. Not to mention they're starting to call me daddy poopy for some reason. My theory is they're playing a dangerous psychological game, and right now they're winning.
There's a big temptation to take the girls to Disneyland once Priya gets her cast off. But we're not sure how well she's going to be able to walk and the Star Wars Land opening will mean it's packed and we were just there in January, but man it's tempting. I think mostly because everyone you see at Disneyland is celebrating some sort of victory to be there, and giving her a hip and helping her through this time would definitely be a victory.
As always thanks for reading! I haven't given any food recommendations lately cause I'm saving them for the podcast. I will say don't waste your time with Roll With It Creamery. 

The countdown begins

Holy crap I'm tired of this cast thing. Priya is super tired of it too. She has been very clear about that. I don't blame her. It's a tough line to walk because you should be sympathetic. She is a very small child dealing with some very large issues. The issue is she has taken to ordering everyone around and screaming when anyone is talking but her. I can see why. She can't do or get what she wants to do or get anymore, and that causes anger and frustration which comes out in yelling and tantrums. Not to mention the ridiculous spring that keeps raining and freezing on us. I do worry about how she's going to act after the cast comes off, but I suppose we'll have to deal with that when we come to it. My mom made her a countdown chain to when the cast comes off. Each night she gets to tear off another piece of the chain, and Mirinda and Priya both get a piece of chocolate when they do that. I told them it was like the advent calendar at Christmas time, and now they're convinced Santa Clause is coming at the end of this thing.
We did take Priya to Lagoon on Saturday which I was a little worried about. She can only ride the train and the carousel, but in true Priya fashion she handled it like a champ. I think she was just happy to be somewhere.
The good news is Priya can lay down on the ground now, and can even crawl around. This means that all those two weirdos want me to do is lay on the ground and tickle them, which I'm happy to do. It is good to see the two of them be able to play more. Mirinda definitely misses that. She has really been so amazing during this time. It's amazing to see how much she defines herself as a big sister. She'll tell me that she can have some chocolate milk because she's a big sister. It's flawless logic, really.
They finished up preschool for the year, and their teachers said they're going to be going through withdrawals without seeing those two each week. They are pretty hilarious. In the fall Mirinda will be going to kindergarten, and I'm really kind of depressed for her. It's not that I'm against education, I just really didn't like school. I love to learn, and I think education is extremely important, just not 50 percent of the crap I learned in school. I understand the need to be well rounded, but seriously Algebra II. Who gives a crap. I realize there are people that use algebra II in their daily lives and I can appreciate that, but I am so not one of those people.
So I'm excited for her to learn new things and experience new things, but I'm depressed for her that she'll have to sit in a classroom all day, then have homework. It's a weird mixed feeling. I'm supremely happy to be out of school. I liked high school, but mostly because I had only one academic class by the time I hit senior year.
Mirinda is very excited though, and I'm trying not to let my bitterness come through on education. I'm not great at it yet, but I will be.
I haven't done a recommendation in a while, so here is one. It's memorial day this weekend. Go visit some graves and bring some flowers. If you aren't in the habit of doing that, it's an extremely therapeutic experience, especially for those you were close to. It's not always an easy thing, but give it a shot. You won't be sorry.
Thanks for reading!

Thank you so much

Wow what a week. I didn't write last week because it was all very new, Priya was upset and in pain, and I was keeping an eye on Mirinda, so I'll write this week. Thank you for all the love and support you've given our family during this time. We have definitely felt it!
Priya is doing incredibly well. I'm constantly amazed by that kid. Last Wednesday I woke up with Mirinda, and Priya and Amy had already gone to the hospital to do some tests. The first thing Mirinda said to me was "Let's go see Priya" and I said OK. A few minutes later Priya called us and said she wanted us to come up.
We got up there and they had given Priya some Valium to help calm her down, so she was pretty loopy, which made it pretty hilarious to talk to her. She wanted to come home so badly, and it's a horrible feeling as a parent to know what you're child is about to go through, know why they need to do it, and want to take her out of the hospital right then. The doctor came in to consult with us, told us everything they would be doing, and made a point I will never forget. She said we do have the option to not do the surgery, but her gait will get worse and worse as she gets older and as she grows. I've never thought of it that way. Literally she might have gotten to the point that she really couldn't walk. As horrible of an experience as it is, there's perspective in that. It's a very encouraging thought.
Finally the time for the surgery came. Watching someone take your daughter away while they cry is also a horrible experience.
I took Mirinda to City Creek to go to the Disney store to buy Priya a present. Mirinda ended up getting some presents too. She deserved them too. That kid was so good in a rough situation. I'm immensely proud of both my girls. They both got pajamas (Priya got Rapunzel, and Mirinda got Fancy Nancy, though we had a talk again about not acting like Fancy Nancy) and they got some American flag Minnie Mouse shirts. After lunch I took Mirinda to the zoo (holy crap they gouge you on the price), and planned on staying there the rest of the afternoon. They said it would be 4-6 hour surgery. It was 3 hours and 15 minutes. I couldn't believe it. Once they got in there they said it wasn't nearly as bad off as they thought it was, and it was very quick. We had only been at the zoo for about an hour, but I've never been so happy to waste money. We came back to the hospital, and able to see her wake up. They had her in the SCU, and I was extremely grateful for that.
Shriner's hospital is a really different place. The staff is so incredible. It also puts in perspective how many kids have problems similar to Priya, and worse then Priya. The parents all realize we're in similar boats. There is a wonderful feeling there. I've never experienced anything quite like it.
Priya was in the hospital until Friday, and she was pissed about it. I don't blame her. She was sassy as ever. Each time the nurses came in she told them to give her medicine or she'd spank their bums. They started taking turns because they loved hearing her say that so much.
Finally on Friday we were able to take her home. The first couple days were rough, I'm not going to lie. Saturday I was having a pity party for myself because of everything that needed to be done, but I got over that. The girls are what matter.
Over the last week I've seen Priya improve dramatically. She is mad that she is in the cast, and honestly I would be too. But we keep reminding her that she'll be able to run and play in the water and do everything she wants to do very soon. It was amazing to see the X-Ray of what her bone looked like before and what it looks like now. Literally her bone jutted out at a 90 degree angle and then came down. I'm amazed she got around as well as she did. Now it goes straight down like a leg should. She's going to love it!
She's doing great with the pain control. They did give her some pretty heavy pain meds which we used for the first week, and now she's on just tylenol and ibuprofen. She can now lay on her stomach and lift herself up with her hands. I wouldn't be surprised if she started crawling around soon.
June 11 is the next appointment. 3 weeks from Tuesday. It's given me a new found respect for people who have to deal with this type of thing permanently. It is much harder to do everything, but we know it's for a limited time. Mad respect to parents that deal with these type of things all the time.
If you would like to visit you are welcome. She is doing so well we let her go to school this week and are taking her out of the house more. We're trying to help her feel like she's not missing out on anything.
On another note, I wrote a few months ago about a podcast my friend Jim Bob and I are going to be starting. We've bought the equipment, and we'll be recording soon. It's going to be called Snooty and Slack Jaw's Food Review. I'm a food snob and Jim Bob is a slack jawed yokel (when it comes to food) so we'll be reviewing local places in Utah, and some chains that I really don't like, because it's fun for me. So, please be watching for that and support us!
Again, thank you to everyone for the prayers and good vibes sent our way. We have felt them, and are grateful.

Prayers for Priya

I was really proud of my girls because I thought they had stopped watching Super Monsters. They had switched to Fancy Nancy, which brought it's own problems. The books are cute, but the cartoon is a little different. Every time they watch it I have to pause it and say please don't act like Fancy Nancy or your husbands will kill you. She is the most high maintenance cartoon character in existence, and everything is a freak out. So I do a little PSA every time they watch it. I'm not sure if they're listening or not. Every time I tell them they get a glazed look in their eye as if to say "Dear man, we like to watch this girl have a nervous break down every episode".
As I said before, I thought the Super Monsters obsession was done, but then they did an Easter episode kind of. I think it's strange to do an Easter episode considering half of them are undead. I've realized the blue zombie girl does the Thriller dance each time they dance, and I'm like don't you dare. You go out and eat some brains, and then come back and do the Thriller dance. You're no zombie, just some blue creation that likes to paint and can walk through walls for some reason.
The biggest issue in this episode is Frankie, who is the son of Frankenstein's monster. The whole family has a uni-brow for some reason. The mom does too, but her's is orange. The thing about Frankie is he's got a lobotomy scar, which means Dr Frankenstein dug this kid up and put a new brain in him, and now he's at preschool. In this episode all of the super monsters get to connect with a pet, and when they do it enhances their powers for some reason. Frankie sings a song cause he's sad that he's not connecting with an animal, and then he connects with a jackelope that can shrink and grow for some reason. So now this undead kid with a lobotomy scar who can make the earth shake with his feet can grown really, really big. No one in the town seems alarmed by this. And the Dracula kid named Drac has a snaggle tooth when he's not a vampire. This is my life right now. I figure it's time to show them Ghostbusters.
On Monday I came home from work and Priya said she wanted to go swimming, so we went swimming. It was a proud father night. I love to swim, it's one of my favorite things to do. The next place we move is going to have a pool. Mirinda took a while to be comfortable with swimming, but now she loves it and is learning how to move around on her own. Priya started swimming, but her bum and legs are so tiny she was very top heavy, so when she wore a life jacket her head would just fall in the water. As a result, she always had to be held. Now she's grown enough that she can wear a life jacket and swim around on her own. She was so pleased with herself. It was amazing to watch her swim around, and I was amazed at how instinctive it was for her. I do think she's going to be a swimmer. Every once in a while she would swallow some water and cough, so I'd hold her until she stopped coughing, and she would get so mad at me that I stopped her from swimming. It was a great night for those two weirdos.
Priya's surgery is next Wednesday, and I don't think I've ever had something I wanted to do less. It's going to be OK, and she's going to be better off for it, but I wish more than anything she didn't have to go through this.
A lot of people have asked what they can do to help, and we really do appreciate it. Right now we don't know how she's going to react or what it's going to be like, so it's hard to say. However, if you'd like to come visit that would be really helpful. Priya loves visitors, and so does Mirinda. Just text us or message us if you'd like to do that. If Priya's having a rough time we're going to tell you that, and we'll reschedule another time.
I am asking for help with one thing though. It's been on my mind a lot lately that she doesn't necessarily need to go through the surgeries that are planned for down the road. This hip surgery needs to happen, and she'll be able to move a lot better with it, but when she's 7 or 8 she'll need to do a leg lengthening surgery. They'll actually break her femur, and then stretch it over time. It sounds absolutely horrible. That's the one I really, really don't want her to have to go through.
I'm asking for your faith and prayers that everything will go well with the surgery, that her recovery will be quick, and that it will cause that leg to begin to grow. We're fasting for that this weekend, and I'd invite you to join with us in that.
I realize there are a lot of different beliefs, and I can respect all of that. Whatever your faith or belief is please join that faith to ours. My faith is in Jesus Christ. I believe He has the ability to heal us. When He was on the earth He healed those that could not be healed, because of their faith. I realize that it may not be His will that Priya's leg starts to grow, but I don't see any reason not to ask.
One of my favorite books is the Chronicles of Narnia. In The Magician's Nephew, Polly and Diggory set out to find a tree that will help protect Narnia from the White Witch. They are sent on this quest by the great lion, Aslan. They fly on the back of a winged horse named Fledge. At the end of their first days journey they stop to rest for the night, and the children are extremely hungry. The horse starts to eat grass, and tells them to dig in. The children explain they can't eat grass, and Fledge tells them he's not quite sure what they'll do. Diggory says, "You'd think someone would have arranged our meals." To which Fledge replied, "I'm sure Aslan would have if you had asked. I have a funny feeling he likes to be asked."
That's the way I feel right now. The Savior performed miracles when He was on the earth, and after that. He has performed miracles in my life and in the life of my family, and I do believe He can perform a miracle in Priya's life. So please, join with me in fasting and prayer based on your beliefs to help Priya. I'm so grateful to so many family and friends who are concerned about our sweet little girls and everything they have gone through in their short lives.

No Rants This Week

Everyone can stop stressing and worrying. I know it's been on your mind a lot, but it's finally here. The Angry Whopper is back at Burger King. I couldn't be happier about it. I freaking love that burger. There's a Burger King by my house, and on the marquee it said The Angry Whopper is Back! I screamed it out to the world as well. Now, if McDonald's will bring back the McRib, we are in business. I think that would be my death row meal. An Angry Whopper, McRib, and a diet Coke.
So I realize I've been pretty ranty over the last few weeks. Everyone needs to let off steam, and I do it by criticizing food places. So this week I've got a few random thoughts that will help you understand a little more about the enigma wrapped up in a mystery wrapped up in a Twinkie that is me.
The vehicle that parks by me at work has a Pearl Jam license plate. I've always felt that was a little strange. Every time I see the owner of the car I want to ask her about it. I want to know the thought process behind it. Was her love for Pearl Jam so strong that it couldn't be contained by just listening to the music or maybe wearing a Pearl Jam t-shirt? Instead, this was such an extreme love that she needed to contact the State of Utah to have them create this piece of metal that she put on her car that she paid $30,000 for to make sure the whole world knows that she loves Pearl Jam. Don't get me wrong, I like Pearl Jam a lot. I actually think they're better than Nirvana, but I think Nirvana is overrated. I just think it's a strange thing to do.
I thought this until yesterday. A truck cut me off cause it's Utah and that's what trucks do in Utah, and he had a Pearl Jam license plate. I'm probably the only person ever that has seen two different cars with Pearl Jam license plates. Then that got me thinking that maybe I'm the crazy one. Maybe these two are the sane ones because they want everyone to know of their love for this mid 90's band. So, maybe it's time for me to put my favorite band on a license plate. I'm not sure if the Doodle Town Pipers will fit on the plate, but I'll contact the State of Utah to find out.
Mirinda was surprisingly not scared of the Easter Bunny. On Christmas Eve I couldn't get her to fall asleep until about 2 AM cause she was so scared Santa was going to come in the room. Both of them loved getting in their Easter dresses. They got some new Sofia the First pajamas, and a microphone on a stand that amplifies their voice. They probably spent 3 or 4 hours playing with it until Mirinda broke it, but it's been returned and a new one procured.
I saw the new trailer for Star Wars, and it made me want to believe again, but I've been hurt before. Episode 8 was such an epic piece of garbage that part of me doesn't want to believe Episode 9 will be good, but part of me does. Honestly if they had brought Jar Jar back in Episode 8 it probably would have made the movie better. I like JJ Abrams, but I don't love everything he does, and as long as they don't go to Marvel I think it will be good. Here's hoping.
The Joker trailer however looks super dark and amazing. It's probably going to get an R rating, but I hope not.
I bought a smoker. I'm pretty stoked about it. If you want to come over for dinner and supply the meat, let me know.
Priya's hip replacement surgery is in a few weeks. I don't think I've ever had such a strong feeling of wanting to take this away from her. If there is any way we could get out of it I would. I know the pain she's going to go through in an already pain filled life, and it absolutely kills me. It will come and go though, and she'll be better off for it. I'm glad she doesn't really understand what's going to happen to her, because the fear would make it worse. She'll get through it, and all will be well. I just wish we were on the other end of it.
Just remember that things aren't as bad as they seem. We have a tremendous amount to be thankful for. That's not intended for a guilt trip. It is intended to get us to look on the bright side. There is so much good in the world, the bad just tends to be louder. Cheer up! Get out and do the things you know you need to do so you can enjoy the things you want to do more. There's not secret to it. It's just to be up and doing. Yes it's hard sometimes. That's OK. You'll have a day where you struggle. Go ahead and struggle. Just don't keep struggling. Make the changes you need to overcome, and it will get better.
Thanks for reading!

So much food, so little time

I'm eating a Lehi Bakery doughnut as I write this, and realizing how right I was. It truly is the number one doughnut in Utah. I appreciate the feedback on doughnut places. Daylight donuts is like the jeep of the doughnut world. It's not bad, it's really just a doughnut for getting around, so they didn't get on the list. I do think I'd revise my list to take Donut Boy off the list and put Billy B's Donuts on the list. It's not that Donut Boy is bad, it's just that Billy B's is amazing. However, the one in Midvale is shut down until May 1st for new management, which worries me. Let's all light a candle for Billy B's.
I've decided to buy a smoker. I like to get into different types of cooking and learn everything I can about it. On Sunday I decided to smoke a pork shoulder. I have a little infrared grill, and it said you can put the wood chips right on the grill and cook the meat. I did it and it was freaking amazing meat, so it's motivated me to buy a smoker.
Mirinda and Priya really liked the pork as well, but Amy told them it was pork butt. That's the name for it (they used to be stored in barrells called butts, so that's why a pork butt is pork shoulder). The girls thought that was the funniest thing ever, and they couldn't stop giggling while they ate. Priya picked up a piece of meat and started hitting it saying she was spanking the pigs butt. It's never dull with those two weirdos around.
On Monday I went to Vegas with my buddy Jim Bob. We had been planning this trip since last September, but things always came up, so we finally planned it and went. We flew down on Monday, and flew back on Tuesday, and the whole point of the trip was to find new places to eat. We looked on Youtube, but again it's a wretched hive of scum and villainy. One guy said his number one place to go was Hash House a Go Go. Here's the thing about that place. A lot of TV shows have gone there, and they've got a reputation as being this amazing place. It's really really mediocre. I've eaten there 3 times and I want to love it each time. I started out with the corn beef hash, and honestly I make a much better corn beef hash. If you're a hash house, that shouldn't be the case. I tried their chicken and waffles, very meh. Yes, the portions are huge, but just because they have huge portions doesn't mean they're good. The biscuits at Black Bear Diner are enormous, but they are the worst biscuits I've ever had. Every time I go in there I want to bring a home made regular sized biscuit with me and tell them to try it, because this is what a biscuit should taste like, not the cardboard they're trying to feed me.
We had some really excellent food on the Strip. The first place we stopped was the Park MGM. It's right next to New York New York, and it's a food court, but a really nice food court. It's basically a bunch of small open air restaurants. We had wild boar sausage with an amazing mustard and maldon salt. Really really fantastic food. We then went to The Cosmopolitan. It's right next to the Aria. There we ate at a similar food court at a place called Donuts Sliders and Brews. Had a Key Lime doughnut, a fried chicken slider and a pork belly slider. All were absolutely fantastic. The fried chicken slider had a spicy coleslaw on it, and the pork belly slider had pickled onions. There were a ton of other places there that we wanted to try, but needed to keep going.
We ate at the Ketchup Premium Burger Bar in the Miracle Mile shops. It was good. Had a burger with a hot dog and sauerkraut on top of it. The toppings were good, the burger was OK. The meat wasn't seasoned properly and it was well done, but I'd give that place another shot.
We then walked down to the Venetian and went to the Black Tap. They have these huge shakes there. They are expensive, about $17 each, but really unique and fantastic. The one we got was the sweet and salty, which had peanut butter ice cream, two pretzels, peanut butter cups, M&M's around the side of the glass, and a sugar daddy stuck in the middle. Excellent all around. They have one that has a piece of cake on top, and another that has a strawberry poptart on top. I highly recommend it.
By this point we were full, so we walked back to the hotel, just taking in the sights. I like the strip for about a day, and this time I wasn't pushing a wagon full of kids around. The next morning we went to the Aria breakfast buffet. Jim Bob fought me on it, but now he agrees with me that I'm always right on food. It is seriously the most amazing breakfast buffet. You can get boring stuff like pancakes and waffles, but you can also get so many other things, and it's all extremely tasty. I highly recommend it for breakfast.
We did a little more walking around, and then headed back to the airport and went home. It was a fantastic adventure. If you're planning a trip down there anytime soon, I'd definitely recommend any of those places.
The girls were very happy when I came home. Priya cried because I wasn't there to brush her teeth. I brought them a bunch of presents from Vegas, but they were the most happy with the pen and pad of paper I took from my hotel room. Good to know for next time. I did bring them a box of Chicken Poop, which is basically chocolate covered cookie dough pieces, but they thought that was pretty great. Now I spend each day telling them we don't really eat poop. I hope it sticks.
As always thanks for reading! If you have a place in Vegas you like to go let me know. If it's a $5 prime rib I'll probably mock you. Again, bigger does not always mean better.