One more surgery down for Priya. Poor kid. Thankfully this surgery was much easier than the last surgery on her hip. This one was to take out the metal bar and screws that were in her femur to help strengthen it. All weekend she told me she was scared. I don't blame her. Especially after the last one and how hard it was she had a right to be scared. We talked a lot about it but it didn't really help.
We had to be at Shriner's Hospital at 6:30 Monday morning. There's nothing quite like waking 2 kids up at 5:45 on a Monday morning to take them to the hospital for a surgery. It would have been nice if we were going to the airport to go somewhere fun. Instead we were driving in the snow to let them cut Priya open. I have to say she handled it like a champ. Mirinda and Priya rode with me because I needed to take Mirinda to kindergarten later on. Priya was crying in the car until I suggested we sing some songs. Once we started singing the tears went away. Honestly the biggest help in all of it was Mirinda. She has an unquenchable cheerfulness about her and it was so much help in the car.
It was almost instinctive for her. She knew she was the older sister and she needed to take care of her little sister. She was singing songs with Priya, making her laugh, and getting her mind off of what we were doing. I couldn't have been more proud of the two of them.
We got to the hospital and Priya was still pretty cheerful. The nurses came in and started to prep her for the surgery, but Mirinda got in the hospital bed with Priya and cheered her up. I was amazed constantly by the whole thing.
Before taking Priya into surgery they gave her something to help her remain calm and holy crap it was hilarious. Priya is already pretty chill most of the time but she was extremely chill once it kicked in. They got to roll to the surgery prep room in the bed together and when they got there they both got a lion stuffed animal. It was so cute to see them together. There's a video of it on Facebook.
The surgery went really well. It took a little longer then they said it would so I had started to stress out. The reason for it was some of the bone had began to grow over the metal bar and they had to chip some of it away. That's a good thing. It means the leg is becoming very strong and is healing really well. That is such great news to hear.
They warned us that she would be made when she came out of the anesthesia. She was. Super super mad. She cried a lot but eventually fell asleep again. Once she woke up she was her normal cheerful self and was so proud of herself that she had done the surgery. I was so proud of her. After she was awake and the pain was under control they let us go home. It's amazing to think that they actually chipped part of her bone away and a few hours later she was home.
She was in pain for the first few days but the pain killers helped it. Two nights ago she started taking steps again and last night the bandage came off. Now it's just her little body healing up and she'll be good to go. So another surgery down.
Hopefully that's all the surgeries for the year. She has to have ear surgeries next year so that will be fun and exciting.
One of the things Priya was upset about is not being able to do Just Dance. I told her I would hold her while we did just dance. That's an even bigger workout then before. It's really difficult to hold a 27 pound kid and be a solid gold dancer at the same time. Somehow I manage.
For some time Priya has been asking for Elsa powers. She wants the ability to freeze people. I love the imagination she has but it's really starting to concern me for two reasons. One is she told me if she gets Elsa powers she's going to freeze my heart, then take me to her castle that she built. There she will spank my bum and eat my eyes. I've seen a lot of crazy stuff in my life but holy crap that stuff is terrifying.
The other thing that is concerning me is she is dead serious (pun intended) about getting these powers. She's told me that Santa Clause will bring them to her. She's also asking for them for her birthday. I don't want to disappoint the kid but come on. I'm trying to think if there is a science kit or something that will let you create ice. My sister suggested dry ice but with Priya's tendency towards cannibalism I don't really want to give her the tools to make a bomb. If anyone has any suggestions please let me know. Either to let her have Elsa powers or to satiate her blood lust. I'm open to suggestions.
The year of January is finally over. Now we can get through the dark days of a day longer February and we'll be into Smarch. At least in Smarch if it snows it will melt the next day. We will see the sun again. Believe it. Just believe.
I'm so into this healthy thing I can't believe it. It's super super fun. Last week I went through all of my shirts that haven't fit and a ton of them fit now. I've got a whole new wardrobe and I really dig it. Just keep going.
Thanks for all the prayers and good vibes for Priya. Let's get her all the way better and enjoy not being in constant dark and cold.
Friday, January 31, 2020
Friday, January 17, 2020
All Warm Fuzzies This Week
Alright so maybe I went a little too far with the whole d-bag thing. Sorry about that. I was in an especially ranty mood. As my buddy Jim Bob put it I took it a little too far. I apologize if anyone was bugged by the post.
Today I thought I'd talk about something a little lighter. Politics.
Totally kidding. I want to talk about Just Dance. If you've got kids you wish would exercise more, get this game. It's on X-Box, Playstation and Switch. It only comes with 30 songs which is a good amount. However for $25 a year you can get an extra 400 songs. My girls absolutely love this game. If you have difficulty finding time to exercise get this game. It is a freaking workout and it's fun to do. When I was home over the holidays I started having the girls do this every morning and telling them we needed to get up and exercise. They love it to the point that they'll come up to me and tell me they need to exercise.
I love seeing them do this for a few reasons. One is I don't want them to have to struggle with weight like I have. I want them to develop these good habits early so it's always a part of their lives. In addition I'm concerned about Priya. She is super skinny now but she has a sweet tooth. I worry that as she gets older if she doesn't develop these good habits she's going to have issues with her weight. With her body and the problems it has it will make everything worse if there is a weight issue so I'm glad she loves to do it. We do Just Dance most days now. They've got a lot of Disney songs and kids songs as well as adult songs. Mirinda has fallen in love with the Macarena to my great shame and disappointment. If nothing else buy the game just for "I Need a Hero" cause it is the funniest, strangest thing you will ever see.
The only issue with the expanded service is it has Let It Go. That's the song we do first. Always. The girls have actually dressed up in their Elsa and Anna dresses to do that song. Priya is more interested in dancing to it, though she does sing a little. Mirinda is more interested in singing to it. That works out because Priya gets super mad if she doesn't win and Mirinda couldn't care less. They won't let me do the song with them anymore because I won too many times. No great loss.
It's not that I'm trying to beat my girls at a video game. I'm just trying to work out so I'm going to do it at 100%. Also I'm a good dancer. As a result I usually win. You haven't lived until you've seen a 3 foot tall Indian girl in an Elsa dress chewing you out for beating her at a video game. I highly recommend it.
The other fun thing is they have Bollywood songs. We dance to those most days. That is an arm workout like you wouldn't believe. I absolutely love that because the girls are getting exercise in as well as listening to Indian songs.
Those kids never cease to amaze me though. Priya counted to 100 the other day and Mirinda read her first book to me. It is really cool seeing them understand they can do things on their own. Mirinda took out the garbage all by herself the other day. I couldn't have been prouder of her. These girls make everything fun. I can't imagine life without them.
Here's the good news: we're halfway through January! Then just make it through February and we'll be money.
We do have a new podcast episode out there. It's for Sweeto Burrito. I've talked about the virtues of Sweeto Burrito for some time. I highly recommend it! Please go listen and let us know what you think.
As always thanks for reading! I promise less rants in the future. No, I can't promise that. I promise less lengthy rants in the future.
Today I thought I'd talk about something a little lighter. Politics.
Totally kidding. I want to talk about Just Dance. If you've got kids you wish would exercise more, get this game. It's on X-Box, Playstation and Switch. It only comes with 30 songs which is a good amount. However for $25 a year you can get an extra 400 songs. My girls absolutely love this game. If you have difficulty finding time to exercise get this game. It is a freaking workout and it's fun to do. When I was home over the holidays I started having the girls do this every morning and telling them we needed to get up and exercise. They love it to the point that they'll come up to me and tell me they need to exercise.
I love seeing them do this for a few reasons. One is I don't want them to have to struggle with weight like I have. I want them to develop these good habits early so it's always a part of their lives. In addition I'm concerned about Priya. She is super skinny now but she has a sweet tooth. I worry that as she gets older if she doesn't develop these good habits she's going to have issues with her weight. With her body and the problems it has it will make everything worse if there is a weight issue so I'm glad she loves to do it. We do Just Dance most days now. They've got a lot of Disney songs and kids songs as well as adult songs. Mirinda has fallen in love with the Macarena to my great shame and disappointment. If nothing else buy the game just for "I Need a Hero" cause it is the funniest, strangest thing you will ever see.
The only issue with the expanded service is it has Let It Go. That's the song we do first. Always. The girls have actually dressed up in their Elsa and Anna dresses to do that song. Priya is more interested in dancing to it, though she does sing a little. Mirinda is more interested in singing to it. That works out because Priya gets super mad if she doesn't win and Mirinda couldn't care less. They won't let me do the song with them anymore because I won too many times. No great loss.
It's not that I'm trying to beat my girls at a video game. I'm just trying to work out so I'm going to do it at 100%. Also I'm a good dancer. As a result I usually win. You haven't lived until you've seen a 3 foot tall Indian girl in an Elsa dress chewing you out for beating her at a video game. I highly recommend it.
The other fun thing is they have Bollywood songs. We dance to those most days. That is an arm workout like you wouldn't believe. I absolutely love that because the girls are getting exercise in as well as listening to Indian songs.
Those kids never cease to amaze me though. Priya counted to 100 the other day and Mirinda read her first book to me. It is really cool seeing them understand they can do things on their own. Mirinda took out the garbage all by herself the other day. I couldn't have been prouder of her. These girls make everything fun. I can't imagine life without them.
Here's the good news: we're halfway through January! Then just make it through February and we'll be money.
We do have a new podcast episode out there. It's for Sweeto Burrito. I've talked about the virtues of Sweeto Burrito for some time. I highly recommend it! Please go listen and let us know what you think.
As always thanks for reading! I promise less rants in the future. No, I can't promise that. I promise less lengthy rants in the future.
Friday, January 10, 2020
Stop. Just Stop.
I really appreciate all the positive feedback I received from last weeks post. It's not an easy thing to talk about weight issues but the support does mean a lot!
The holidays are over. The tree is down and the Christmas lights are down. Priya cried both times that happened, but it was time. Now it's the dark days of January. Happiness will be found again in March and the sun will return.
My girls are way into Just Dance on the Switch. I love that they want to do it. I love to dance and it's fun to see them get into it so much. Here's the problem. We always do "Let it Go" first. I now listen to that song at least once a day. Even worse I'm really good at dancing to it. I got a Mega-Star rating on it the other day. I rock it as Elsa. That's even more depressing than January. That's saying something. It is fun to watch those weirdos dance though. There are a lot of Disney songs so we have a rule that we each take turn picking a song. That way we do two Disney songs and then a regular song. I'm trying to broaden their music knowledge.
Priya got really used to me being home so much over the holidays and is having a tough time going back to normal. As a result she's become super clingy whenever I need to go anywhere. I don't blame her. I'm pretty awesome to be around. Hopefully it's only for a short time.
The other day she was cuddling with me and as a joke she bit my stomach. We've talked about biting. A lot. So I got mad at her and told her she couldn't bite people. That sent her into uncontrollable sobbing on my stomach. I calmed her down and explained that I loved her but she couldn't bite. Once she calmed down she blew her nose on my shirt. This made me get mad again because don't blow your nose on my shirt, which made her cry again. So I calmed her down again while explaining that she can't blow her nose on my shirt. In a nutshell that's what it's like to be a parent. You get bitten and snot blown on you and you love them anyway and comfort them.
I saw something at Chuck-a-Rama that has bothered me all week. The family in front of us were trying to pay for their lunch. The dad was a veteran so he wanted the military discount, but he didn't have the correct ID with him. The girl behind the counter was young and was just doing her job. She said she needed the correct ID or she couldn't give them the discount. They freaked out and asked for the manager. The manager came over and the woman that was speaking for the family said they come here all the time and how dare they question them and they were very offended. I was proud of the manager for speaking up to them and telling them she did recognize them and would give them the discount but they needed to bring the correct ID.
This is what bugs me. We've become such d-bags. Seriously. We're offended by everything and everyone. It's is absolutely ridiculous. The thing is we've all been a d-bag at some point in our lives. We might not have realized it but we have been. I know I have been. It's not something we usually set out to be, but we've all done it. I don't care what your beliefs are or what you've done in your life you have been a d-bag to someone.
Maybe your the one in the left lane driving 67 miles per hour and telling everyone they don't need to drive any faster than that. If so, you were a d-bag. It's not your job to police that left lane. On the other side maybe your the one in the right lane tailgating someone that is going slowly. If so, you were a d-bag. That person was in the correct lane for their speed and you need to go around them.
Maybe you are the d-bag that won't move into the intersection to turn left but stays behind the white line so nobody else can go. Or maybe you're the d-bag who turns left long after you have a red light. Maybe you're the d-bag who needs to get something out of a backpack or stroller or answer a text message so you stop in the middle of a walkway to do that and make it difficult for everyone else trying to get by.
Maybe you're the d-bag that is driving slowly or erratically because you're looking at your d-bag phone. If that's the case, you're the worst d-bag of all.
Here's my point: we've all been d-bags at some point in our lives. The idea is to get out of our own heads and our own worlds and be self-aware. Think about how we're effecting the lives of those around us and adjust. It doesn't mean we need to be constantly stressed about our actions, but just be self-aware. Know what's going on around you. Stop getting offended at ridiculous things. One of my favorite quotes is, "A fool takes offense when none is intended, but a bigger fool takes offense when offense is intended." I really do believe that. Stop getting offended. Stop believing you are the only one who matters. Stop the entitlement. I get that this family wanted the veteran discount. They deserve the veteran discount. I'm grateful to that man for serving our country. However the poor girl behind the counter was just doing her job because they didn't bring the correct ID. That's the entitlement factor that we have embraced in our culture. None of us is more important than anyone else. When we realize that life becomes a lot more about being self-aware and everyone getting along better.
The good news is even if we've been a d-bag, we can adjust. We can find ways to be more self-aware and get out of our own worlds. We can choose to not be offended. We can choose to stop being self-entitled. Each of us have to decide to start doing that. If we've been a d-bag about something, own up to it and make decisions to be better. None of us is perfect. As a culture we've become so self-obsessed that we can't see how entitled we've become.
Alright, I needed to get that off my chest and I'm good now. As always thanks for reading! We've got a couple of new podcast episodes coming out soon: Sweeto Burrito and Proper Burger.
The holidays are over. The tree is down and the Christmas lights are down. Priya cried both times that happened, but it was time. Now it's the dark days of January. Happiness will be found again in March and the sun will return.
My girls are way into Just Dance on the Switch. I love that they want to do it. I love to dance and it's fun to see them get into it so much. Here's the problem. We always do "Let it Go" first. I now listen to that song at least once a day. Even worse I'm really good at dancing to it. I got a Mega-Star rating on it the other day. I rock it as Elsa. That's even more depressing than January. That's saying something. It is fun to watch those weirdos dance though. There are a lot of Disney songs so we have a rule that we each take turn picking a song. That way we do two Disney songs and then a regular song. I'm trying to broaden their music knowledge.
Priya got really used to me being home so much over the holidays and is having a tough time going back to normal. As a result she's become super clingy whenever I need to go anywhere. I don't blame her. I'm pretty awesome to be around. Hopefully it's only for a short time.
The other day she was cuddling with me and as a joke she bit my stomach. We've talked about biting. A lot. So I got mad at her and told her she couldn't bite people. That sent her into uncontrollable sobbing on my stomach. I calmed her down and explained that I loved her but she couldn't bite. Once she calmed down she blew her nose on my shirt. This made me get mad again because don't blow your nose on my shirt, which made her cry again. So I calmed her down again while explaining that she can't blow her nose on my shirt. In a nutshell that's what it's like to be a parent. You get bitten and snot blown on you and you love them anyway and comfort them.
I saw something at Chuck-a-Rama that has bothered me all week. The family in front of us were trying to pay for their lunch. The dad was a veteran so he wanted the military discount, but he didn't have the correct ID with him. The girl behind the counter was young and was just doing her job. She said she needed the correct ID or she couldn't give them the discount. They freaked out and asked for the manager. The manager came over and the woman that was speaking for the family said they come here all the time and how dare they question them and they were very offended. I was proud of the manager for speaking up to them and telling them she did recognize them and would give them the discount but they needed to bring the correct ID.
This is what bugs me. We've become such d-bags. Seriously. We're offended by everything and everyone. It's is absolutely ridiculous. The thing is we've all been a d-bag at some point in our lives. We might not have realized it but we have been. I know I have been. It's not something we usually set out to be, but we've all done it. I don't care what your beliefs are or what you've done in your life you have been a d-bag to someone.
Maybe your the one in the left lane driving 67 miles per hour and telling everyone they don't need to drive any faster than that. If so, you were a d-bag. It's not your job to police that left lane. On the other side maybe your the one in the right lane tailgating someone that is going slowly. If so, you were a d-bag. That person was in the correct lane for their speed and you need to go around them.
Maybe you are the d-bag that won't move into the intersection to turn left but stays behind the white line so nobody else can go. Or maybe you're the d-bag who turns left long after you have a red light. Maybe you're the d-bag who needs to get something out of a backpack or stroller or answer a text message so you stop in the middle of a walkway to do that and make it difficult for everyone else trying to get by.
Maybe you're the d-bag that is driving slowly or erratically because you're looking at your d-bag phone. If that's the case, you're the worst d-bag of all.
Here's my point: we've all been d-bags at some point in our lives. The idea is to get out of our own heads and our own worlds and be self-aware. Think about how we're effecting the lives of those around us and adjust. It doesn't mean we need to be constantly stressed about our actions, but just be self-aware. Know what's going on around you. Stop getting offended at ridiculous things. One of my favorite quotes is, "A fool takes offense when none is intended, but a bigger fool takes offense when offense is intended." I really do believe that. Stop getting offended. Stop believing you are the only one who matters. Stop the entitlement. I get that this family wanted the veteran discount. They deserve the veteran discount. I'm grateful to that man for serving our country. However the poor girl behind the counter was just doing her job because they didn't bring the correct ID. That's the entitlement factor that we have embraced in our culture. None of us is more important than anyone else. When we realize that life becomes a lot more about being self-aware and everyone getting along better.
The good news is even if we've been a d-bag, we can adjust. We can find ways to be more self-aware and get out of our own worlds. We can choose to not be offended. We can choose to stop being self-entitled. Each of us have to decide to start doing that. If we've been a d-bag about something, own up to it and make decisions to be better. None of us is perfect. As a culture we've become so self-obsessed that we can't see how entitled we've become.
Alright, I needed to get that off my chest and I'm good now. As always thanks for reading! We've got a couple of new podcast episodes coming out soon: Sweeto Burrito and Proper Burger.
Friday, January 3, 2020
Never, Never, Never Give Up
Wow I did not write much in December. It wasn't intentional, there was just way too much to do. And now it's January and everything is cold and dark and sucks. I'm pretty chipper about it.
Christmas was absolutely wonderful. The girls had a great month. We had several conversations about the idea that Santa is not going to come into their room on Christmas night. Like at least 5 or 6 conversations. Some of them lasting 45 minutes. Mirinda finally fell asleep at 1 AM. Last year it was 2 AM, so we're improving. Both of these moments of finally falling asleep involved threats on her life.
I took a lot of time off over the Christmas holidays which was fantastic. Got to spend a lot of time with the girls. They're obsession with Frozen is becoming alarming. I asked them the other day when they were watching Frozen if we could watch something that wasn't awful. They didn't agree. We did go to see Frozen 2 on Christmas Day. I didn't hate it. It was adequate. Olaf is the most annoying character Disney has ever created. Ever. And the 80's music montage song with the schizophrenic guy was dumb. Other than that it was adequate.
The girls made it to midnight on New Years, and they were actually in a good mood. They liked the whole new year thing. It's extremely fun to see them enjoying these things as they get older. They make everything fun anyway. Priya cried when we took the Christmas tree down. I comforted her by telling her it would only be cold and horrible for 3 more months. I think it helped.
I wanted to take some time today to write about my weight loss journey this year. I haven't talked about it much. I lost 42 pounds this year. I'm pretty proud of it, but wow there's still a long way to go. I've learned a lot of things about weight loss and about myself that I wanted to share.
One thing I've learned is weight loss is an extremely personal thing. Each person loses weight and maintains weight differently, so what I'm writing about may not work for everyone. It is meant to be helpful however.
I started out New Years Day in 2019 sitting with my family for lunch. My mom had us go around the table and say what our New Years Resolution was. I didn't have one. I don't normally. I don't think I need a day to make decisions to change or improve. If you want to improve, make a plan and start. My mom said she was going to exercise 5 days a week in 2019. That struck me as a really good idea. I had joked for a long time about never exercising but honestly it was time to start. I wore XXXL shirts and they were starting to get tight. I absolutely didn't want to move to XXXXL shirts, so it was time to make a change.
The problem was I had done this before. I had gotten the motivation and decided to wake up at 5 AM every morning and work out. I had done this several times. Each time it lasted about 2 weeks. January at 5 AM couldn't be worse, and waking up early to do something you know you're going to hate isn't very encouraging. I know there are people who do that and love it, and that's impressive. I'm not one of those people.
The other option was to work out after work. That's a problem because I'm swarmed the minute I walk in the door by my little weirdos, and between getting dinner ready, cleaning and spending time with the girls I wouldn't be able to work out consistently. On top of that I want to spend time with them, so the evening wasn't going to work.
As a result we decided to start a wellness initiative at work. Everyone was allowed 30 minutes a day to work out in the gym at the office building. I started to do that every morning at about 10 AM. That worked for me. At first my only goal was just to complete 30 minutes each day. I was on zero resistance on the elliptical. I didn't care. I just wanted to do it. I hated it at first. No one likes starting an exercise regimen. I decided I needed to find a way to start loving it.
My biggest problem is I get bored when I work out. When I get bored I focus on how tired I am. When I focus on how tired I am I think I should stop. I turned to Impractical Jokers. I love that show. I laugh at every episode. I found if I watched that I would laugh and ignore the exhaustion or the pain, and suddenly the 30 minutes were up. I still watch it every time I work it.
Over the year I have kept up the 5 days a week. It's been an interesting process because there will come a day when I'll realize that I'm not getting a very good workout so I'll increase the resistance or the program and the workout is harder but I'm getting more from it. I started out at zero resistance and now I'm at 16. The thing goes to 20. I really like the way I feel when I'm exercising regularly. I have more energy and can do more. It's impressed upon me how important it is to find what works for you with exercise. I can balance something that isn't very fun with something I enjoy.
When I first started exercising I lost about 15 pounds over the course of 3 or 4 months. I wasn't watching my diet I was only exercising. My body responded to it pretty well. After I lost that weight I didn't lose anymore at all. I didn't gain anything back, but I wasn't losing. I was OK with that. I was keeping up what I said I would do, and my shirts weren't quite as tight.
In September I started realizing I was unhappy with my appearance. It wasn't really a being mean to myself thing, I just wanted to look better and feel better about myself. I've got an entire wardrobe I can't wear. Literally I have an entire closet full of clothes that are too tight to wear. It's incredibly frustrating. It was also my fault. Nobody told me to eat those cheeseburgers.
I started thinking about what to do about my weight. I've been on fad diets and yo-yo diets. I didn't want to do that again. I wanted to lose the weight and then maintain. My biggest issue was I was not going on a diet. A diet indicates I'm going to start at some point and then stop at some point. I wanted a lifestyle change. I started researching intermittent fasting and I really liked the idea behind it. The idea is to not eat for 16 hours, but to eat for 8 hours. That seemed like something I could do for the rest of my life. Here's the thing about intermittent fasting: if you eat whatever you want during those 8 hours you're not going to lose weight. You might maintain, but you're not going to lose. On top of that, you still have to watch what you're putting in your body. It's not just about weight loss. It's about a healthier lifestyle and the weight loss comes as a result of that. You can go on Keto or the low carb diet and eat a pound of bacon or a huge burger with no bun and lose weight, but is it healthy? It so is not.
The first few weeks of the intermittent fasting was tough. It's hard to retrain your body when it's used to eating all day. However, I had a goal and kept pushing through it. The nice thing about intermittent fasting is you get to drink water. It sucks to be hungry AND thirsty. After a few weeks I had lost a few pounds but wasn't seeing the results I wanted. I kept it up because my goal is not weight loss. It's a healthier lifestyle and weight loss will come as a result of that.
My mom told me about a drug called phentermine. It's an appetite suppressant and a stimulant. She had gone on it and had positive results. I decided to try it.
I met with the doctor and told him what I had been doing and said I needed some help. He prescribed the drug for me, but warned me that it's not a miracle drug. He thought I was only lose 2 to 4 pounds on it. I liked that because it seemed like a challenge to me.
I'm here to say it's not a miracle drug, but it can help. What I found is it helped me change the way I thought about food. Each day I felt that I needed to eat a big lunch because I was afraid of being hungry. When you consistently eat big lunches your capacity for eating larger meals increases. Then at 2:30 or 3:00 I would feel like I needed a snack because it was midday. That's a dangerous slope to be on. Suddenly on an appetite suppressant I didn't feel hungry. I felt full. When it came to midday and my mind would say I needed a snack, I would stop and think about it. I realized I didn't feel hungry so I didn't need a snack. It was a mental battle the first few days. There was the part of me that was afraid of being hungry and the other part of me that realized I wasn't hungry. I had to ask myself each time this battle came up whether I wanted a snack or wanted to lose weight. Most of the time the answer was I wanted to lose weight. Not always. There are times when the answer is I want to eat. One night in December we were at the Festival of Trees. I hadn't had time to eat much dinner and I was starving. I really wanted to eat but kept fighting myself all night that I wanted to lose weight. Mirinda was hungry and wanted a cheeseburger after we left so we stopped at McDonald's to get her one. My mind kept telling me I should get a cheeseburger or a spicy McChicken but I kept fighting. Finally I got home and realized that I was actually really hungry. Normally I would have a bunch of cookies or something like that. Instead I had a glass of milk and one cookie bar. When I got done with that I was completely satisfied. I learned that sometimes you need to give your body what it wants. Just give less than what you would normally give. Have one cookie instead of ten. Other times you need to master yourself because the goal is a healthier lifestyle.
After a month of being on the drug I met with the doctor again. I had lost 17 pounds. He walked in and said, "Well that worked." I agreed. He cautioned me again that I probably won't see that much weight loss in a month. Good. Another challenge. He did tell me that he had another patient who had gained weight on this drug. I couldn't understand how anyone could gain weight on this. I'm not hungry. I eat lunch and dinner and have an occasional snack, but I am not hungry for anything else. He said this guy wasn't watching what he was eating, wasn't exercising. Basically wasn't doing what I was doing. It was good to hear. It's not a miracle drug. You have to put in the work. You have to be committed to the goal of a healthier lifestyle. There are bad days. There are days when you really want to eat something you know you shouldn't. Sometimes you do. You don't beat yourself up when you do. Have the snack. Make it a good one and have less of it, but enjoy it.
Lifestyle change is not about making yourself miserable. It's about choosing one thing each week you can do differently. Whether it's a goal for exercise or food, or something you need to start doing or stop doing, do it one week at a time. The issue is we have these grand plans and we eliminate everything in our life that tastes good or is unhealthy and we're going to spend our life at the gym and put all these rules on ourselves that are going to make us miserable. We're motivated for a little while, then we find out how much it sucks and how miserable we are and the motivation leaves. We go right back to old habits and nothing changes. Instead of that start with one thing this week that you can change. Make it small. Then next week pick something else you can change. Keep up what you have done and choose new things. Small changes over time lead to lifestyle changes for the rest of your life. I can't imagine not working out now. My stomach has shrunk now to the point that when I do want to eat more I find that I'm full and I don't like the feeling of being stuffed. My clothes are starting to fit better and I'm almost to the point I can wear XXL shirts again. I have an entire wardrobe waiting for me.
That's my advice. Don't make it about only weight loss. Make small healthier decisions on a weekly basis and watch it change you and your body. It becomes habit which then becomes a part of your personality. Then you start to learn how your body responds to what you put in it and what you do to it. This makes it easier to tailor your lifestyle to a healthier one. All this leads to a healthier weight.
I lost 42 pounds in 2019. My goal is 50 pounds in 2020. I'm going to keep moving forward with this. When I get to the weight I want I'm going to maintain. I'm not going through this again. It sucks. It sucks gaining weight and slowly realizing that clothes you wear don't fit you anymore. It's much better to stick to healthy behavior and habits. It doesn't mean you can't have that ice cream. Eat the ice cream, just have a scoop or two instead of the entire thing of Ben and Jerry's. It was one of my favorite snacks.
In saying all this I realize that each body is different. Each person is different. This is what has worked for me. The method I've used may not work for you, but I do believe the principle is the same. Don't make huge sweeping changes all at once. Start with one thing today, then build on it. Be patient. You may not see results right away but over time you will. Just don't give up. I'm looking forward to writing about this again next January 50 pounds lighter than I am now.
Just don't give up.
Christmas was absolutely wonderful. The girls had a great month. We had several conversations about the idea that Santa is not going to come into their room on Christmas night. Like at least 5 or 6 conversations. Some of them lasting 45 minutes. Mirinda finally fell asleep at 1 AM. Last year it was 2 AM, so we're improving. Both of these moments of finally falling asleep involved threats on her life.
I took a lot of time off over the Christmas holidays which was fantastic. Got to spend a lot of time with the girls. They're obsession with Frozen is becoming alarming. I asked them the other day when they were watching Frozen if we could watch something that wasn't awful. They didn't agree. We did go to see Frozen 2 on Christmas Day. I didn't hate it. It was adequate. Olaf is the most annoying character Disney has ever created. Ever. And the 80's music montage song with the schizophrenic guy was dumb. Other than that it was adequate.
The girls made it to midnight on New Years, and they were actually in a good mood. They liked the whole new year thing. It's extremely fun to see them enjoying these things as they get older. They make everything fun anyway. Priya cried when we took the Christmas tree down. I comforted her by telling her it would only be cold and horrible for 3 more months. I think it helped.
I wanted to take some time today to write about my weight loss journey this year. I haven't talked about it much. I lost 42 pounds this year. I'm pretty proud of it, but wow there's still a long way to go. I've learned a lot of things about weight loss and about myself that I wanted to share.
One thing I've learned is weight loss is an extremely personal thing. Each person loses weight and maintains weight differently, so what I'm writing about may not work for everyone. It is meant to be helpful however.
I started out New Years Day in 2019 sitting with my family for lunch. My mom had us go around the table and say what our New Years Resolution was. I didn't have one. I don't normally. I don't think I need a day to make decisions to change or improve. If you want to improve, make a plan and start. My mom said she was going to exercise 5 days a week in 2019. That struck me as a really good idea. I had joked for a long time about never exercising but honestly it was time to start. I wore XXXL shirts and they were starting to get tight. I absolutely didn't want to move to XXXXL shirts, so it was time to make a change.
The problem was I had done this before. I had gotten the motivation and decided to wake up at 5 AM every morning and work out. I had done this several times. Each time it lasted about 2 weeks. January at 5 AM couldn't be worse, and waking up early to do something you know you're going to hate isn't very encouraging. I know there are people who do that and love it, and that's impressive. I'm not one of those people.
The other option was to work out after work. That's a problem because I'm swarmed the minute I walk in the door by my little weirdos, and between getting dinner ready, cleaning and spending time with the girls I wouldn't be able to work out consistently. On top of that I want to spend time with them, so the evening wasn't going to work.
As a result we decided to start a wellness initiative at work. Everyone was allowed 30 minutes a day to work out in the gym at the office building. I started to do that every morning at about 10 AM. That worked for me. At first my only goal was just to complete 30 minutes each day. I was on zero resistance on the elliptical. I didn't care. I just wanted to do it. I hated it at first. No one likes starting an exercise regimen. I decided I needed to find a way to start loving it.
My biggest problem is I get bored when I work out. When I get bored I focus on how tired I am. When I focus on how tired I am I think I should stop. I turned to Impractical Jokers. I love that show. I laugh at every episode. I found if I watched that I would laugh and ignore the exhaustion or the pain, and suddenly the 30 minutes were up. I still watch it every time I work it.
Over the year I have kept up the 5 days a week. It's been an interesting process because there will come a day when I'll realize that I'm not getting a very good workout so I'll increase the resistance or the program and the workout is harder but I'm getting more from it. I started out at zero resistance and now I'm at 16. The thing goes to 20. I really like the way I feel when I'm exercising regularly. I have more energy and can do more. It's impressed upon me how important it is to find what works for you with exercise. I can balance something that isn't very fun with something I enjoy.
When I first started exercising I lost about 15 pounds over the course of 3 or 4 months. I wasn't watching my diet I was only exercising. My body responded to it pretty well. After I lost that weight I didn't lose anymore at all. I didn't gain anything back, but I wasn't losing. I was OK with that. I was keeping up what I said I would do, and my shirts weren't quite as tight.
In September I started realizing I was unhappy with my appearance. It wasn't really a being mean to myself thing, I just wanted to look better and feel better about myself. I've got an entire wardrobe I can't wear. Literally I have an entire closet full of clothes that are too tight to wear. It's incredibly frustrating. It was also my fault. Nobody told me to eat those cheeseburgers.
I started thinking about what to do about my weight. I've been on fad diets and yo-yo diets. I didn't want to do that again. I wanted to lose the weight and then maintain. My biggest issue was I was not going on a diet. A diet indicates I'm going to start at some point and then stop at some point. I wanted a lifestyle change. I started researching intermittent fasting and I really liked the idea behind it. The idea is to not eat for 16 hours, but to eat for 8 hours. That seemed like something I could do for the rest of my life. Here's the thing about intermittent fasting: if you eat whatever you want during those 8 hours you're not going to lose weight. You might maintain, but you're not going to lose. On top of that, you still have to watch what you're putting in your body. It's not just about weight loss. It's about a healthier lifestyle and the weight loss comes as a result of that. You can go on Keto or the low carb diet and eat a pound of bacon or a huge burger with no bun and lose weight, but is it healthy? It so is not.
The first few weeks of the intermittent fasting was tough. It's hard to retrain your body when it's used to eating all day. However, I had a goal and kept pushing through it. The nice thing about intermittent fasting is you get to drink water. It sucks to be hungry AND thirsty. After a few weeks I had lost a few pounds but wasn't seeing the results I wanted. I kept it up because my goal is not weight loss. It's a healthier lifestyle and weight loss will come as a result of that.
My mom told me about a drug called phentermine. It's an appetite suppressant and a stimulant. She had gone on it and had positive results. I decided to try it.
I met with the doctor and told him what I had been doing and said I needed some help. He prescribed the drug for me, but warned me that it's not a miracle drug. He thought I was only lose 2 to 4 pounds on it. I liked that because it seemed like a challenge to me.
I'm here to say it's not a miracle drug, but it can help. What I found is it helped me change the way I thought about food. Each day I felt that I needed to eat a big lunch because I was afraid of being hungry. When you consistently eat big lunches your capacity for eating larger meals increases. Then at 2:30 or 3:00 I would feel like I needed a snack because it was midday. That's a dangerous slope to be on. Suddenly on an appetite suppressant I didn't feel hungry. I felt full. When it came to midday and my mind would say I needed a snack, I would stop and think about it. I realized I didn't feel hungry so I didn't need a snack. It was a mental battle the first few days. There was the part of me that was afraid of being hungry and the other part of me that realized I wasn't hungry. I had to ask myself each time this battle came up whether I wanted a snack or wanted to lose weight. Most of the time the answer was I wanted to lose weight. Not always. There are times when the answer is I want to eat. One night in December we were at the Festival of Trees. I hadn't had time to eat much dinner and I was starving. I really wanted to eat but kept fighting myself all night that I wanted to lose weight. Mirinda was hungry and wanted a cheeseburger after we left so we stopped at McDonald's to get her one. My mind kept telling me I should get a cheeseburger or a spicy McChicken but I kept fighting. Finally I got home and realized that I was actually really hungry. Normally I would have a bunch of cookies or something like that. Instead I had a glass of milk and one cookie bar. When I got done with that I was completely satisfied. I learned that sometimes you need to give your body what it wants. Just give less than what you would normally give. Have one cookie instead of ten. Other times you need to master yourself because the goal is a healthier lifestyle.
After a month of being on the drug I met with the doctor again. I had lost 17 pounds. He walked in and said, "Well that worked." I agreed. He cautioned me again that I probably won't see that much weight loss in a month. Good. Another challenge. He did tell me that he had another patient who had gained weight on this drug. I couldn't understand how anyone could gain weight on this. I'm not hungry. I eat lunch and dinner and have an occasional snack, but I am not hungry for anything else. He said this guy wasn't watching what he was eating, wasn't exercising. Basically wasn't doing what I was doing. It was good to hear. It's not a miracle drug. You have to put in the work. You have to be committed to the goal of a healthier lifestyle. There are bad days. There are days when you really want to eat something you know you shouldn't. Sometimes you do. You don't beat yourself up when you do. Have the snack. Make it a good one and have less of it, but enjoy it.
Lifestyle change is not about making yourself miserable. It's about choosing one thing each week you can do differently. Whether it's a goal for exercise or food, or something you need to start doing or stop doing, do it one week at a time. The issue is we have these grand plans and we eliminate everything in our life that tastes good or is unhealthy and we're going to spend our life at the gym and put all these rules on ourselves that are going to make us miserable. We're motivated for a little while, then we find out how much it sucks and how miserable we are and the motivation leaves. We go right back to old habits and nothing changes. Instead of that start with one thing this week that you can change. Make it small. Then next week pick something else you can change. Keep up what you have done and choose new things. Small changes over time lead to lifestyle changes for the rest of your life. I can't imagine not working out now. My stomach has shrunk now to the point that when I do want to eat more I find that I'm full and I don't like the feeling of being stuffed. My clothes are starting to fit better and I'm almost to the point I can wear XXL shirts again. I have an entire wardrobe waiting for me.
That's my advice. Don't make it about only weight loss. Make small healthier decisions on a weekly basis and watch it change you and your body. It becomes habit which then becomes a part of your personality. Then you start to learn how your body responds to what you put in it and what you do to it. This makes it easier to tailor your lifestyle to a healthier one. All this leads to a healthier weight.
I lost 42 pounds in 2019. My goal is 50 pounds in 2020. I'm going to keep moving forward with this. When I get to the weight I want I'm going to maintain. I'm not going through this again. It sucks. It sucks gaining weight and slowly realizing that clothes you wear don't fit you anymore. It's much better to stick to healthy behavior and habits. It doesn't mean you can't have that ice cream. Eat the ice cream, just have a scoop or two instead of the entire thing of Ben and Jerry's. It was one of my favorite snacks.
In saying all this I realize that each body is different. Each person is different. This is what has worked for me. The method I've used may not work for you, but I do believe the principle is the same. Don't make huge sweeping changes all at once. Start with one thing today, then build on it. Be patient. You may not see results right away but over time you will. Just don't give up. I'm looking forward to writing about this again next January 50 pounds lighter than I am now.
Just don't give up.
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