The Dark Face of Evil

The Christmas lights are up and I couldn't be more excited. The girls ask most days when Christmas is. Mirinda has been terrified of Santa Clause over the last few years. This year she says she will sit on Santa's lap. I hope she will. This is the first year the two of them are really understanding what Christmas is all about, and they are very particular about what they want. A microphone and a smart watch. I'm not sure why that combination.
I'm smoking a turkey for the first time on Sunday. I've been doing research to determine the type of brine I'm going to do and the wood chips I'm going to use and I've discovered something. A lot of the people on the internet telling you how to cook things are idiots and you shouldn't listen to them. One recipe called for smoking the turkey for 11 hours. Listen, turkey is not like beef. Turkey will become a barren wasteland of flavor if you were to cook it for that long. A lot of people called a brine a marinade as well. They are not the same thing, and they work very differently with meat. I've determined the brine and I'm going to butterfly the turkey. It will probably be delicious. And 4 hours should just about do it.
But that's really the whole thing about Thanksgiving. It was designed as a holiday to help us not lose our national identity as cooks. It's about sharpening our skills to put a wonderful meal together to be grateful for the talents we have. We should expect more out of our food.
That being said, there is a powerful force of evil out there and I've seen it. I never want to go there again. I went to the Dunford Baker factory. It was a lovely sunny day when I went, but when I drove in suddenly things got dark and my heart went cold. I had to buy 10 dozen cookies for a client event at last notice. It was towards the end of the day and they didn't have a whole lot left, which was extremely depressing. I thought people actually came and bought this crap. As I put together the 10 dozen cookies the employee working there was eyeballing me like I was doing something wrong. Finally she told me that I could order large quantities if I submitted the order 48 hours in advance. It took all my willpower to stop myself from telling her that I never plan to set foot in this place again and I was hoping to leave with my life and my soul intact. I bought the cookies and left.
Listen, I get that a lot of people love Dunford. Seriously you should expect more out of your bakery. I recognize there's not a lot of bakeries on that end of the valley, but don't settle for mediocrity in your baked goods. Demand more. There are a tremendous amount of really good bakeries out there that don't make you feel like you need to take a shower when you get home. That's all I'm saying. I realize it's cheap, but cheap isn't always good. That's my rant for the day.
I hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving. If you are going to buy a meal already cooked, at least make one dish by yourself. Try something you've never made before. You'll be surprised. Or you'll hate it. Either way you'll have a good story.