I am Shelby

We hit a couple of milestones this week. Priya got a balance bike for her birthday, and she was so excited. The problem is she really, really hates it. However, we've found that if she takes off her boot, she can ride on her tricycle with no problems, and she is so happy about it. Literally she rode for 4 hours the other day. She would have beat triathletes. I'd put cash money on that. She's very pleased with herself, and she should be.
Mirinda has been riding the balance bike for quite some time, and has become really good at it. It was time to move her up to a real bike with training wheels so we went to Walmart to shop for one. It took about 45 minutes of coaching before she figured out that she had to keep pedaling. She would start pedaling and it would freak her out that she was moving forward, so she'd stop herself. Finally she figured it out and then she wouldn't stop. She rode all over the aisles. I feel bad for the family she crashed into, but the doctors say they'll survive.
They didn't have the model she wanted at the store, so we bought it online, and it came last night. The problem with buying it online is you have to put it together. But I'm a man, and men are supposed to be able to do this sort of thing. After 2 hours the bike was finally put together enough to go outside. Then I had one of those moments as a dad when you feel like you've failed your kids. The handlebars were loose cause I hadn't tightened them correctly, and to tighten them was a process that involved 130 steps apparently. I also didn't have a tire pump, so I needed to go to the store to get one, and there was a storm coming in. The wind was so strong that it started pushing Priya cause the kid only ways 10 pounds. So I told the girls we needed to go inside and Mirinda could ride her bike tomorrow. Mirinda started crying, and I can totally see why. I would have done the same at her age. She was so excited, and I just couldn't get the job done. So I do what dad's do, and told them I would buy them ice cream. I did get the tires pumped up and the bike is ready to go. Mirinda got to ride it in the garage, but she couldn't do much. She can ride it today, of course it snowed at the end of March cause that's what we do in Utah.
I got them a chocolate malted almond concrete from Nielsen's. If you've never been there I highly recommend it. They're pretty big, so I figured they'd eat some and I'd eat the rest. By the time I got done with the bike they had eaten the entire thing. Those girls would do anything for chocolate ice cream.
Lagoon opens up tomorrow, so if you want to know where we are on a Saturday, we're at Lagoon. The girls never really get tired of it. I keep thinking they will, but they're excited to go every time. I highly recommend season passes. I know it seems expensive, but you're basically paying for activities for the family from the end of March to the end of October. It's seriously worth it. When you have a season pass you don't worry about staying there all day and killing yourself over it. You go for a few hours until the kids are tired and then you go home. It's fantastic. If you do buy a season pass, tell them it was me that convinced you to do it. I'm trying to get Lagoon to start paying me commissions on how many people I've convinced to get season passes.
Can we stop with the remakes of classic shows? A remake is coming out later this year of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. That's one of my favorite films. But in this one it's two women. Anne Hathaway is playing the Michael Cane part, and Rebel Wilson is playing the Steve Martin part. I've never found her funny. I realize I'm not the demographic for Pitch Perfect, but I'm not sure why she would want to take on a role like the one Steve Martin did. Instead of doing a remake of an incredible show that doesn't need to be remade, just write a script for a movie about two con artists who are women. That would be better. Make it a new thing, instead of rehashing old stuff. It's lazy.
They're remaking Steel Magnolias as well, and I think that one upsets me the most. You have to understand there was one summer that we literally watched that show 2 to 3 times a day. I'm not sure why. It's an extremely depressing show. We were bored and there was nothing else to do. I actually took a Steel Magnolias quiz and got 30 out of 30. We'd watch that and Silence of the Lambs, so that gives you an idea of why I am the way I am.
The part that frustrates me the most about this remake is I was not asked to audition for the part of Shelby. My sister Ashley and I do the scene from Steel Magnolias where Shelby is getting her hair done and begins to crash with low blood sugar, and her mother helps her. I play Shelby and Ashley plays the Sally Fields part M'Lynn. It will change your life to witness that scene. I'm not kidding. You'll be in tears for various reasons. I don't like to brag, but I play the part better than Julia Roberts plays the part. Plus my lips don't get so huge when I cry. Maybe we'll film it and put it on YouTube. We'll get a crack at being in the remake. This could be our big break.
Thank you for reading! Go to Nielsen's and get a concrete. They take VISA now, which is a huge deal. VISA hasn't been around very long. If you like what you're reading please share it with your friends, and feel free to comment. I love the comments! Otherwise I feel like I'm writing into a black hole.