UN Sanctions Against Me

Wow, a lot of people really want to see me in drag. Listen, I'm a moderately attractive man, but holy crap I'd make an ugly, ugly woman. Me with pigtails? There would be anarchy in the streets. The UN would hold a special meeting for sanctions against me. They've been out to get me for years anyway.
All that being said, I can be bought for the right price. I'm not proud.
I am however losing. Mirinda got an Ana costume this week. I'm so depressed about it. They each sang they're different songs from that travesty of a cartoon. They also continue to watch the nipple show, as I now affectionately call it. The other day the things were opening up other dolls they received as presents that are only slightly smaller then them. It's like Mini Me from Austin Powers. This has to be stopped, and I need to be the one to stop it.
I've been making them watch more classic cartoons, and that is helping. Priya really likes them. Mirinda doesn't have a long enough attention span. We've been watching a lot of Halloween cartoons. It always brings joy to my heart. I freaking love Halloween. The Halloween decorations are up. We've got Pete the skeleton in the ground along with his headstone. It's an actual headstone. We owned a house a few years ago and it had a really old deck. One day as I was tearing up the deck to do something else in that spot, and there was a grave stone underneath the deck. Just a name, no death or birth date or anything. My first thought was, "Holy crap, I've got a body buried in my backyard." Thoughts of Funny Farm came into my head. I wasn't sure what to do. Finally one night I had a forensic investigator, two homicide detectives, and like 5 other cops in my backyard all staring at this gravestone not sure what to do. One of them told me if this was a dead body laying here they'd know exactly what to do, but they had no idea what to do in this case. Finally one of the investigators did some checking and called the previous owner of the home. He worked with leather (I'm assuming like leatherface) and needed a stone to work on, so he went to a place that made gravestones and bought one they had screwed up on. Over time he used it as a step for the deck, and finally it just was under the deck. Pete Peterson has been dead since 1998 and is buried in the South Jordan cemetery, not in my backyard. So I got a free headstone out of the deal, and Pete makes an appearance every Halloween.
His buddy is in a chair next to him, and his name is Coco, cause the girls were really into Coco when I got the skeleton. There's a spider next to him they named Cuckoo. So yeah, we're ready for Halloween.
I've been really amazed at how far Mirinda has come in kindergarten. She is now writing her name really well, and is really excelling. I love to see it. We always knew that she would be developmentally behind, which is why she was in early intervention programs. I love seeing how excited she gets at learning new concepts and doing new things. Yesterday she did the monkey bars mostly by herself, and she was so proud. It made me extremely happy. These girls really got a raw deal in the first part of their lives, and now they are making up for it.
Listen to my podcast and rate it. Please. I'll stop if I get one review. Promise.
If you've had more than one thing that is pumpkin spice this week, you need to examine your life. I like pumpkin spice, but come on. Relax. There are other flavors in the world.
As always thanks for listening! If you think you know my price for dressing like Ana, let me know and I'll make it happen.