This is a messed up world. There are a lot of strange and horrible things happening in it, but every once in a while there is a glimmer of hope. The McRib is coming back on Monday. I freaking love the McRib. I'm fully aware that it's meat shaped to look like ribs. I'm also fully aware that I do a podcast where I'm known as Snooty the food snob. It doesn't matter. The McRib is perfect, and I can hear no ill against it. I can't wait for Monday. I will be there with freaking bells on.
Tomorrow will be 4 years to the day that we met Mirinda. I can't believe it's been that long, and how much I love that kid. I had no idea what she was going to do to my life and I couldn't be happier about it.
I've been thinking about that day a lot. She was raised in a foster home. We went to the orphanage that had charge over the foster families. I needed to deposit some money to them, so I was working on that. The foster family was late, but finally they came in. Mirinda had on shorts and a hat and had her hands in her pocket. She looked up at on of the ladies and smiled, and I immediately fell in love with this kid. I was at the end of the hall and I looked to my right knowing that my dad was standing right there. He had died 6 months before we met her, but he was with me that day.
We went to lunch with the foster family. Mirinda was very happy and very cuddly. It was an absolutely perfect day. We spent some time with her, and made arrangements to take her for a while the next day. Here's the problem with perfect days: the next day is usually anything but perfect.
We took her for about 6 hours the next day. She fell asleep in the car ride to the hotel, so when she woke up she was in a very different place with two complete strangers. She started crying and didn't stop crying for 6 hours. Finally at one point she crouched down and held her legs because she was so distraught.
I never really questioned by desire to be a dad, but I did that day. I didn't have any idea how I could do this. I'd never experienced anything like that before. The next day we took custody of her, and she cried again. We flew from Mumbai to Delhi, and she was so upset being with us she wanted to sit with complete strangers on the plane. Keep in mind I don't blame her in any of this. I can't imagine being 2 years old and being taken away from the family you've known by two people that look completely different than what you're used to. My heart went out to the kid.
Things got better over the next week. She got used to things more, and even started to warm up to me very slightly. Then we came home, and she hated my guts. Every time I came home she would give me a dirty look. This might be very surprising to anyone who sees Mirinda and me now. She's my girl, but I had to learn how to be a dad. I had to learn to be patient and to be goofy with her, and get over my own reservations on how I should act. It was a process. A few years ago when I would come home she would want to go to her room to play, and I always said lets do something else. I said that simply because it bored me so much. I had to learn to make her a priority and to enjoy spending time with her regardless of how entertained I was. She is more important.
It's been an amazing 4 years with this kid, and I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. Seeing her learn and grow is making me so happy and proud of her. Seeing how great she is with Priya brings me a lot of joy, and how much fun it is to be with the two of them.
I've been thinking about meeting her a lot lately. Mostly because of the anniversary of it, but also because it taught me it's ok to do hard things and struggle. The point is to overcome what is hard. Sometimes it means taking a hard look at ourselves and determining what needs to change, and then slowly and steadily changing those things. We become better people in that way. Just don't give up. When I look at the day after meeting her and today, I would tell myself then that it does get much, much better. Keep your chin up and keep moving. It will get better and it will be worth it.
Just don't give up.
great post.
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